SoCS: the reason

The reason I haven’t been posting much lately is that I am getting ready to have surgery for Chiari malformation in late October. There is a lot to do to get prepared, including a bunch of tests, which, along with the rest of my medical team visits has been taking up a lot of time and my limited brainpower.

I also was trying to keep some fraction of my volunteering and online advocacy going but now push has come to shove, as they say, and I am setting almost everything aside for now to concentrate on my health. I need to rest more and not tax my already over-taxed brain.

My poor brain has been spending the last 2 1/2 years without the right amount of cerebrospinal fluid and my symptoms seem to be intensifying a bit, so I need to acknowledge that. I knew I’d need to be on a long hiatus after the surgery, so I’m practicing now.

That being said, there are a few commitments that I plan to keep, the Boiler House Poets Collective residency at the Studios at MASS MoCA and the sing-along hosted by the Madrigal Choir of Binghamton. I may not be much help for either of them but it’s important for me to be there.

I’m giving myself permission to stop trying to keep up with all the causes that I usually do, so I’m up-to-date to do comments or letters to elected officials and government agencies or just contribute to conversation. I will try to read just my favorite writers and columns. I need to get used to deleting things without opening them.

Ironically, I may post here a bit more during the weeks remaining before surgery. If there is less to keep up with, I might be able to reserve some time and brainpower to post.

If I don’t manage it, you’ll know the reason.
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Linda’s prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday this week is “reason.” Join us! Find out more here: https://lindaghill.com/2026/09/11/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-september-12-2026/

SoCS: sleep problems

I have quite a few problems involving sleep – or the lack thereof.

I often have trouble getting to sleep, staying asleep, waking up early and not being able to get back to sleep, not feeling rested after sleep. I’ve tried various things to help, all the sleep hygiene sorts of things, physician directed melatonin and medications, etc. but nothing seems to work long-term.

It seems, now that we know about my hEDS, cervical instability, Chiari, and a few more diagnoses, my sleep problems at least make sense.

One thing in particular may be due to a specific diagnosis. I developed sleep apnea a couple of years ago, although I score low on the Epworth scale. I’ve been treating it with an autoPAP, so I am breathing adequately while I sleep, which is, of course, a good thing.

One thing I wonder, though, is if I developed apnea at this time due to my Chiari malformation. One of the things that Chiari can cause is sleep apnea, so I’m wondering if, after my surgery, my sleep apnea may improve or even disappear. Sleep apnea can be caused by hEDS, though, so maybe not. It just seems odd to me because I’ve had the hEDS forever, even though it wasn’t diagnosed until this year. On the other hand, the apnea doesn’t seem to have started until the Chiari developed, obstentisibly in March ’24 when this big batch of troublesome symptoms started.

So, this post reveals one of the dangers of stream of consciousness – that the brain runs off using background info that the reader can’t follow. I’ll try to go back and put in some links that may help this make a little more sense.

It’d probably turn out better if I slept on it, but there isn’t time for that…
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Linda’s prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday this week is “sleep.” Join us! Find out more here: https://lindaghill.com/2026/08/28/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-august-29-2026/

SoCS: travel

When B retired, we had planned to travel more.

More trips to London to see the UK branch of the family.

More mid-week getaways to the Finger Lakes or New England, avoiding the busier weekends and high seasons, now that B didn’t have to work Monday through Friday. Visits to friends and relatives.

We have been doing more travelling, but not in the way we had anticipated.

Instead, we have been doing a lot of medical travelling. A couple of trips to NYC to see the interventional radiologist and do some specialized testing. A trip to Providence, RI at the end of last month to meet with a specialized neurosurgeon. We will return there this fall for surgery. I might need to find an out-of-town nephrologist…

We are hoping that, by next spring, I may be recovered enough to travel for fun again.

It will give me something to dream about as I’m recovering…
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Linda’s prompt for Stream of Concsiousness Saturday this week is “travel.” Join us! Find out more here: https://lindaghill.com/2026/08/07/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-august-8-2026/

One-Liner Wednesday: Chiari

When I saw the specialized neurosurgeon last week, after posting here for positive vibes, they asked what my three most troublesome symptoms are and I answered, “Brain fog, fatigue, and balance problems;” they told me that surgery for Chiari malformation should help all three, so I will have that, probably in late October.

This update is brought to you as part of Linda’s One-Liner Wednesdays series. Join us! Find out more here: https://lindaghill.com/2026/08/05/one-liner-wednesday-the-kicker/

One-Liner Wednesday: good vibe request

Tomorrow (Thursday), I will have an initial consultation with a specialized neurosurgeon in Rhode Island who may be able to address some of my health issues and would appreciate any prayers or good vibes you feel moved to offer. ❤

Join us for Linda’s One-Liner Wednesdays! Find out more here: https://lindaghill.com/2026/07/29/one-liner-wednesday-nothing/

SoCS: in a brain fog

Sometimes, I remember what I used to know and be able to do.

Sometimes, I can’t.

The brain fog from the cerebellar ectopia is perhaps being made worse by my decline in kidney function.

Or maybe by the summer weather.

Hard to say.

It’s scary, though, especially because it’s been going on for over two years now. There is hope for untangling all the underlying factors and treating them – or, at least, some of them – but probably no guarantee of getting back all my lost functionality.

Sometimes, I manage to be hopeful in a realistic sort of way.

Sometimes, not so much.

Today, not so much.
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Linda’s prompt for Stream of Consciosness Saturday this week is to begin the post with “Sometimes.” Join us! Find out more here: https://lindaghill.com/2026/07/17/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-july-18-2026/

One-Liner Wednesday: more fatigue

I’ve had a major uptick in my fatigue level so I haven’t been able to manage writing the couple dozen of posts that I wish I had over the last few weeks, but my health care team is working on a new batch of tests, a med change, and probably an additional diagnosis that may eventually lead to improvement, so stay tuned…

Join us for Linda’s One-Liner Wednesdays! Find out more here: https://lindaghill.com/2026/06/10/one-liner-wednesday-you-know-youre-tired/

on being a zebra (unicorn)

May is EDS & HSD Awareness Month. EDS stands for Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome and HSD for Hypermobility Spectrum Disorder. They are a group of inherited connective tissue disorders that remain under-diagnosed and under-treated. Case in point: I was diagnosed with hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (hEDS) in January at the age of 65, making sense of decades-worth of unexplained symptoms.

The Ehlers-Danlos Society uses the zebra as a symbol of the EDS/HSD community because there is a saying among the medical community that “when you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras” but, sometimes, there really are zebras. Zebras also each have their unique stripe pattern, in the same way that people with EDS/HSD have their own unique presentation, depending on how their collagen and connective tissue is impacted across different body systems at that particular time in their life. The medical system in the United States and in many other countries tends to divvy medical care to specialists who only look at one body system but connective tissue disorders are easier to recognize if one takes a more integrative approach.

And a fun zebra fact: A group of zebras is called a dazzle, which leads to the Ehlers-Danlos Society saying, “Together, we dazzle!”

As I’ve continued to research hEDS, I’ve been engaging in personal forensic diagnostics. So many things I have experienced in my life make sense now that I know of my genetic inheritence of hEDS. For example, I developed tendon problems in my elbow as a young teen which impacted my abilities as a pianist and organist. When I eventually had to resort to surgery in my thirties, the outcome wasn’t as expected and I had to give up playing. I now understand that this was due to my hEDS inherited collagen defects.

My IBS, IC, endometriosis, vulvodynia, pre-term labor, allergies, mast cell activation disorder, cervical instability, near-sightedness, depression/anxiety, cerebellar ectopia, sleep apnea, early gall bladder disease, hiatal hernia, acid reflux, chronic fatigue, diverticulosis, chronic kidney disease, sensitive skin, joints that bend more than expected, and more all have a connective tissue component and are more likely in people with EDS/HSD.

Daughter T gave me the zebra unicorn pin as a gift. While the zebra is the symbol of EDS/HSD, adding the unicorn element helps to play up the uniqueness of each individual.

And it’s super cute!

The point is that another person with hEDS could exhibit a totally different set of symptoms from mine or we could share some symptoms and not others. It just depends on which connective tissues are compromised and how much at that particular time. Other factors are involved, too, like age, activity level, hormone and endocrine function, etc. It adds to the zebra-unicorn element and takes a thoughtful and informed practitioner to pick up on the possibility of an underlying connective disorder behind all the symptoms of different body parts.

In December, there will be an update to the EDS/HSD diagnostic guidelines. My hope is that the medical community will use these and the best practices guidelines that will follow in spring 2027 to finally look more comprehensively at their patients and diagnose and help them at much younger ages than currently.

Some people are also under the mistaken impression that it doesn’t do any good to give a diagnosis when you can’t cure the disorder. While it’s true that we can’t current treat the genetic cause, there are treatments to help alleviate many of the symptoms. It’s also imperative for practitioners to know the EDS/HSD status for anyone who is contemplating surgery. Surgeons need to know about connective tissue differences so that they can compensate for that during the procedure and the recovery protocols or, perhaps, decide that surgery is not appropriate. Many EDS/HSD patients also need long-term physical therapy to help them function; it makes a huge difference if physical therapists are knowledgeable about connective tissue disorders so that they help rather than hurt.

As I continue my journey with hEDS, I will keep you posted here at Top of JC’s Mind. If we are super-lucky and we find effective treatment for my brain fog and fatigue, I may even post more regularly.

I will, though, always remain my unique, zebra-unicorn self.

One-Liner Wednesday: EDS shirt

May is Awareness Month for Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome and Hypermobility Spectrum Disorder so I got a shirt!

Join us for Linda’s One-Liner Wednesdays! Find out more here: https://lindaghill.com/2026/05/20/one-liner-wednesday-summer/

SoCS: sweet taste

My favorite foods are sweet.

I know that humans’ first taste preference is for sweetness. It’s why breast milk is so sweet.

Most people, though, go on to develop preferences for additional flavors. I, though, am not very tolerant of foods that are sour or bitter. Strong flavors are often physically painful for me and I’ve learned that something that most people perceive as mild are often overwhelming for me. This is especially true for hot/spicy foods, like peppers. I also don’t drink coffee or tea, which are just too bitter for me.

I wonder if this taste preference for sweet and intolerance for sour and bitter is a natural defense. One of the conditions that I have is interstitial cystitis, also known as painful bladder syndrome. (It’s probably also related to my hEDS and mast cell activation disorder, but I digress.) One of the ways to help reduce IC flares is to reduce acidic foods as much as possible. Most sour or bitter foods are also high in acid, so maybe my intolerance of those flavors is a self-defense mechanism.

By the way, salty foods are also bad for people with IC so I eat low-salt, as well. I don’t find salty foods physically painful, though, unless it is really, really, really salty, which feels like burning in my mouth.

I’m such a delicate flower!

And sweet! 😉
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Linda’s prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday this week is “sweet.” Join us! Find out more here: https://lindaghill.com/2026/05/15/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-may-16-2026/