breath control

For the first time since my surgery for Chiari malformation on Monday, I actually slept through the night last night, which felt amazing. Here in the US, we also ended Daily Saving Time last night, so, even though it looked like I was up early, I had to add an hour to account for the clock change.

I do still owe you a surgery post but, right now, I wanted to share what has already improved since my surgery.

By the time I left the hospital on Wednesday, my balance was much improved, so that I could reliably walk without having someone nearby to help steady me if I got light-headed. I could also walk in a straight line, if that was what I intended. Balance problems have been a constant for over two years now, so having it already improve so much feels like a miracle.

The other thing that I noticed while still in the hospital is that the blurring in my left eye is much better. I can see for long stretches without any blurring but can still have trouble when I’m most tired.

The exciting thing this morning was that it seems that my breath control is improving, too. I was participating in All Saints’ Day mass via a recording and was happy that I could sustain the phrases in the opening hymn, “For All the Saints.” It’s been frustrating to have to breathe way more often than a singer should need to – and there is certainly much room for further improvement – but to have a noticeable improvement already feels great.

All these things are most likely due to the restored cerebrospinal fluid flow. I had a lot of testing to rule out physical problems with my eye, inner ear, lungs, etc., so we knew there was not a problem with the organs themselves. Rather, there was a problem with them getting proper signals from my brain.

Improved breathing is particularly important for me. I had been getting out of breath easily, for example, from walking up a flight of stairs or from lying on my stomach. It seemed that it was likely due to dysautonomia, which is common in people with hEDS and/or Chiari malformation. One of the fun features of my surgery had been difficulty keeping me breathing because I needed to be prone so Dr. Klinge could access the back of my head and neck, but they had modify the body position they usually use because I would unceremoniously stop breathing, even though I was intubated.

Obviously, we are still in early days of a recovery that is expected to last 3-6+ months, but I’m stunned at how much has improved already. I have to remind myself that symptoms that haven’t changed at all yet may well improve over these coming months, just more gradually as my brain heals after 2 1/2 years of not enough cerbrospinal fluid circulation.

I am so grateful to Dr. Klinge and her whole team; to Lauren Eadline, my wonderful NP who specializes in patients with hard-to-diagnose-and-treat disorders; and to all my family, friends, and readers who have been so supportive throughout all of this and continue to uphold me.

Onward (but with still a lot of rest breaks)!

SoCS: costume?

Linda’s prompt for Stream of Consiousness Saturday this week is “costume.”

My Halloween costume this year is woman recovering from brain surgery.

Okay, not really a costume, just reality.

From the front, I actually look pretty normal, other than tired.

My long, silver hair covers up my incision and the 1″x3″ strip of hair shaved off the back of my head.

I only look scary if you see the five-day old incision. I will post a picture at the very end of the post, so don’t scroll all the way down if that sort of thing is upsetting to you.

The surgery was to correct a Chiari malformation, which is when the brain tonsils slip down into the top of the spinal column and disrupt the flow of cerebrospinal fluid. When I manage to get a proper post done about it, I’ll come back and link it here.

I must say that Dr. Petra Klinge of Brown University Health in Providence, RI and her whole team were amazing in my care. I was only in the hospital for two nights and am now resting at an Airbnb in Providence until I can have my post-op visit on 11/6. Spouse B is taking very good care of me!

BHPC residency ’26

(Joanne Corey reading with the Boiler House Poets Collective at the North Adams (MA) Public Library, October 17, 2026. Photo credit: Deborah Marshall)

Since Thursday, I have been at the Boiler House Poets Collective’s annual residency at the Studios at MASS MoCA (Massachusetts Museum of Contemporary Art).

If you look back through my archive, you will find many, many posts that I made during residencies, in most years, daily, going all the way back to the residency which formed the basis for BHPC in November, 2015. The subsequent resdiencies have been in September or October.

I’m pleased to say that our reading on Saturday at the North Adams Public Library was great. We read in alphabetical order, so I was first, which I like because I then get to relax and enjoy everyone else’s work. With ten poets, we each do a 5-minute sampler of our work, so there is lots of variety for the audience. We had an unusually lively question and answer session after the reading and time for snacks and conversation.

Admittedly, I am low on energy this year, as I await surgery for Chiari malformation later this month. (Link has a lot of good information for Chiari in people with hEDS like me but, please, ignore the pitch for the practice at the end.) My focus had been to get through the reading, and I met that goal. I have tried to do a bit more since, like visiting the Museum, but I pushed a little too hard and am now having to pull back and rest more. I regret missing most of our workshopping sessions this residency but I hope that, next year, I’ll be in better shape to participate more fully.

I’m very grateful to my fellow Boiler House Poets Collective members for supporting me in my current, challenging circumstances and look forward to our future residencies together. Long live BHPC!

A Banned Book poem

In honor of Banned Books Week, I’m sharing a poem I wrote that involves banned books. It was originally published by Rat’s Ass Review in their Fall-Winter 2022 issue.

THE BANNED BOOKMOBILE
 
Do you need a special license to drive
a bus of books? Children
 
are more fragile; books,
more combustible.
 
Children’s minds need fire,
need those books to start a blaze.
 
How else to know that a pair of penguin
dads can raise a chick?
 
That witches and wizards can be evil
or good or somewhere in the flawed between?
 
That even the bluest eye cannot
confer beauty and love?
 
That it’s a sin to kill
a mockingbird?

13 years!

WordPress helpfully reminded me that Top of JC’s Mind was born 13 years ago yesterday.

It doesn’t seem quite possible that I’ve kept the blog going that long, despite an avalanche of personal and world churn.

My thanks to everyone who has read or commented over this time, especially those who are helping buoy me in my current health/brain challenges.

I can’t guarantee another 13 years but I can hope for it…

SoCS: the reason

The reason I haven’t been posting much lately is that I am getting ready to have surgery for Chiari malformation in late October. There is a lot to do to get prepared, including a bunch of tests, which, along with the rest of my medical team visits has been taking up a lot of time and my limited brainpower.

I also was trying to keep some fraction of my volunteering and online advocacy going but now push has come to shove, as they say, and I am setting almost everything aside for now to concentrate on my health. I need to rest more and not tax my already over-taxed brain.

My poor brain has been spending the last 2 1/2 years without the right amount of cerebrospinal fluid and my symptoms seem to be intensifying a bit, so I need to acknowledge that. I knew I’d need to be on a long hiatus after the surgery, so I’m practicing now.

That being said, there are a few commitments that I plan to keep, the Boiler House Poets Collective residency at the Studios at MASS MoCA and the sing-along hosted by the Madrigal Choir of Binghamton. I may not be much help for either of them but it’s important for me to be there.

I’m giving myself permission to stop trying to keep up with all the causes that I usually do, so I’m up-to-date to do comments or letters to elected officials and government agencies or just contribute to conversation. I will try to read just my favorite writers and columns. I need to get used to deleting things without opening them.

Ironically, I may post here a bit more during the weeks remaining before surgery. If there is less to keep up with, I might be able to reserve some time and brainpower to post.

If I don’t manage it, you’ll know the reason.
*****
Linda’s prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday this week is “reason.” Join us! Find out more here: https://lindaghill.com/2026/09/11/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-september-12-2026/

One-Liner Wednesday: Chiari

When I saw the specialized neurosurgeon last week, after posting here for positive vibes, they asked what my three most troublesome symptoms are and I answered, “Brain fog, fatigue, and balance problems;” they told me that surgery for Chiari malformation should help all three, so I will have that, probably in late October.

This update is brought to you as part of Linda’s One-Liner Wednesdays series. Join us! Find out more here: https://lindaghill.com/2026/08/05/one-liner-wednesday-the-kicker/

One-Liner Wednesday: good vibe request

Tomorrow (Thursday), I will have an initial consultation with a specialized neurosurgeon in Rhode Island who may be able to address some of my health issues and would appreciate any prayers or good vibes you feel moved to offer. ❤

Join us for Linda’s One-Liner Wednesdays! Find out more here: https://lindaghill.com/2026/07/29/one-liner-wednesday-nothing/

BCAC reading!

Just proving that I made it through the reading event at the Broome County (NY) Arts Council last night.

Things went well with poems, a short story in translation, music, paintings, and a film, all represented.

Thanks to Connie, Ann, and all the BCAC staff for making the America 250 exhibition and event possible. Thanks also to fellow poet Samantha Terrell who sent me this photo that her husband took while I was reading.

The Revolution Will Be Poeticized

(Graphic credit: WSKG Public Media)

WSKG, our local public broadcaster serving the Southern Tier of New York and Northern Tier of Pennsylvania, sponsored a call for poets in our region as we observe the semiquincentennial of the United States of America.

The call asked for poems addressing one or more of these themes:

Looking Back: history, founding ideals, and untold stories

Right Now: modern America, democracy today, and lived experience

Looking Forward: hopes for future generations.

They received 163 submissions from 25 counties, which I thought was a very impressive showing from our region’s poets!

You can read the ten winning entries here and listen to recordings of their work, nine as of July 2nd, here. (The link to the recordings may not be a permalink, but should work through July, 2026, at least.)

All the submissions were compiled into an anthology. At over 200 pages, it shows the breadth of talent from our region.

For my entry, I combined all three themes around the concept of women’s rights. I intentional wrote two 13-line stanzas, in honor of the 13 colonies that became states. Because I chose to only use the first names of the people I referenced, I also included an explanatory note.

We Work and Wait
by Joanne Corey

Remember the ladies, Abigail
wrote John before the Declaration
but after Sojourner, Elizabeth, Susan
and their sisters of the First Wave
Betty, Gloria, Angela
and their sisters of the Second Wave
Judith, Rebecca, Amy
and their sisters of the Third Wave
Tarana, Wendy, Jessica
and their siblings of the Fourth Wave
and the passage of 250 years
women still work toward
their full independence.

When Shirley ran in ‘72
my girl-self thought soon
but as Wave after Wave
crashed against that
highest, hardest glass ceiling
it inexplicably held.
Will it be my daughters
or my granddaughters
who see the First Ms.
President, the Second
Third, Fourth? So many
they don’t think
to keep count.

Note: People referenced in this poem in order of appearance: Abigail Adams, John Adams, Sojourner Truth, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Susan B. Anthony, Betty Friedan, Gloria Steinem, Angela Davis, Judith Butler, Rebecca Walker, Amy Richards, Tarana Burke, Wendy Davis, Jessica Valenti, Shirley Chisholm. Quote from Hillary Rodham Clinton’s 2016 concession speech.

I’m grateful to WSKG for this project and the opportunity to respond creatively and share poems with the community. I hope you engage with the arts, whether as a creator or an interactor, at this critical moment in United States history.