Category: family

JC’s Confessions #29

In the first few seasons of The Late Show, Stephen Colbert did a recurring skit, then a best-selling book, called Midnight Confessions, in which he “confesses” to his audience with the disclaimer that he isn’t sure these things are really sins but that he does “feel bad about them.” While Stephen and his writers are famously funny, I am not, so my JC’s Confessions will be somewhat more serious reflections, but they will be things that I feel bad about. Stephen’s audience always forgives him at the end of the segment; I’m not expecting that – and these aren’t really sins – but comments are always welcome.

It’s been a hard few months.

More than a few?

Hard to keep track…

When I wrote this post at the end of October, I was re-organizing to structure my time for more poetry and less volunteering, but B’s COVID diagnosis in November, which turned into two weeks of him isolating in part of the house, leaving me responsible for keeping the household going, followed by daughter T’s shoulder surgery/aftermath in December left me with a lot to do, not a lot of holiday spirit, and very little creative brain availability. Thrown on top of this was the unexpected return of the threat of shale gas development, which we thought had ended with the New York State high-volume hydrofracking ban nine years ago, this time in the guise of an unproven scheme to use supercritical carbon dioxide to extract methane from shale and sequester carbon. This necessitated the reactivation of the coalition that won the fracking ban back then and hours of conference calls, research, and emails. Oh, and what I thought would be one or two local interviews for my alma mater turned into a series of zoom interviews across the region, taking a lot more time and energy than I had expected when I said yes to the opportunity. (There’s also some other personal and family health stuff going on, which I won’t go into here.)

I’ve been struggling with prioritizing and keeping my attention where it belongs to finish tasks. My best intentions to simplify have met with the reality tsunami and washed out to sea.

I am, though, not suffering as much as I was last January when I wrote JC’s Confessions #26. Then, I realized I was still grieving. I am in a different place in dealing with losses now.

We are spending a couple of weeks in February visiting our family in London, UK. This will get me away from most meetings. If I’m lucky, I’ll get a little bit of poetry time in the early mornings or late evenings to continue work on revision of my full-length manuscript. I’m attempting to line edit the whole thing and, perhaps, re-order it to prepare for work with a professional editor in April. It’s felt like fits and starts so far but I have worked on about 20% of the poems to this point.

I have followed through on my commitment to post daily for Just Jot It January but will be pulling back the post pace for February and trying to devote that time to poetry.

So, yes, organizing my time and following through on plans is still a work in progress.

And, come next January, there is a possibility that some version of this Confession will recur.

Or, maybe, I’ll finally stop feeling badly about having to re-vamp, re-adjust, postpone, and re-jigger my life so often.

I can hope.
*****
Join us for Linda’s Just Jot It January! Find out more here: https://lindaghill.com/2024/01/28/daily-prompt-jusjojan-the-28th-2024/

SoCS: the phone

At this point in my life, I’m not a big fan of the telephone.

It can take a lot of time and energy to convince myself to make the call, especially if I know I’m likely to have to work through endless phone menus or get put on hold multiple times and shuffled between service personnel.

(Yeah, looking at you insurance companies, utilities, etc.)

There were periods in my younger years when the phone was an important lifeline and source of connection – when B used to travel a lot on business, when I was away from my mom.

Even after my parents retired near us, I usually also spoke to them every day by phone, even on days when I also saw them in person.

Those calls were not hard to make. Or receive.

I still use my landline for calls whenever I can and still have an answering machine to pick up if I can’t – or if the caller ID suspects spam, which is most of the time these days. All three of us happened to be out together earlier this week and I went to check the machine for messages when we got home. I realized that since Paco (my father) died over two years ago I seldom get personal messages on my phone.

Actually, it’s longer ago than that because Paco forgot how to make phone calls in his last months.

Somehow, though, I keep checking for a call…
*****
Linda’s prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday/Just Jot It January today is “make the call.” Join us! Find out more here: https://lindaghill.com/2024/01/26/the-friday-reminder-for-socs-jusjojan-2024-daily-prompt-jan-27th/ 

for the love of plants

My daughter T loves plants.

She loves them so much that she has a master’s degree in conservation biology of plants. One of her favorite things to do is remove invasive species so that native species can thrive. She can expound at length on the topic of relocating plant species to different elevations and latitudes to help them survive the effects of climate change.

At the moment, it’s winter here and she is recovering from shoulder surgery, so no eradicating of invasive species allowed in the near future.

She has to content herself with tending our indoor plants.

Under her care, the African violets and kalanchoe are in bloom.
*****
I shockingly used the prompt “plants” from J-Dub of J-Dub’s Grin and Bear It as part of Linda’s Just Jot It January. (It’s only shocking because I seldom use the prompts and usually meander off in my own direction.) Whether you want to use prompts or not, please join us! Find out more here: https://lindaghill.com/2024/01/21/daily-prompt-jusjojan-the-21st-2024/

JN.1

It’s been four years since the first cases of COVID-19 were confirmed in the US but it’s still a major health issue. While vaccines, treatments, and preventative measures have made the current situation less severe than the initial onslaught of SARS-CoV-2, people are still getting sick, with some needing to be hospitalized and some, unfortunately, succumbing to the disease, including the person I referenced in this post. In the week of Dec. 31, 2023-January 6, 2024, COVID caused 4% of all deaths in the United States.

The virus continues to mutate. The current strain that is dominant in the United States and globally is JN.1, which is related to the BA.2.86 variant of Omicron. The good news is that the most recent vaccine, which is based on the related XBB lineage, is a good match for JN.1, so the vaccine significantly reduces the risk of severe symptoms, hospitalization, and death while offering some protection against infection. The bad news is that, in the United States, only about 8% of children and 19% of adults are estimated to have received the newest vaccine, contributing to a surge of cases, amplified by holiday travel and gatherings.

More good vaccine news. This large study from Sweden concludes that vaccination reduces the risk of developing long COVID and that additional vaccine doses reduce risk even more. As someone who has particular concerns about long COVID, I appreciate that these studies are continuing to increase our understanding.

Another recent study shows that the Omicron variants don’t cause peak viral loads until day 3-4, much later than the earlier strains of the virus. The practical implication of this is that at-home COVID tests may not pick up a positive reading until several days into the illness, during which time the person could be infecting others. It also has implications for prescribing anti-virals, which need to begin within the first five days of symptoms to be effective. For me, this is a reminder to mask around other people whenever I have symptoms, as an early negative test might not be accurate.

A study published just a few days ago seems to put some science behind what we have all experienced, that SARS-CoV-2 doesn’t have a “season” in the way that some other viruses, like influenza, do. Changes in temperature and humidity don’t appear to have significant influence in transmission. This seems to go along with what we have experienced in the United States, with major waves happening in different seasons of the year. We’ve had waves in the heat of summer as well as the cold of winter. This suggests that our current winter wave is due more to low vaccination rates and holiday travel and gatherings than to the fact that it is winter. It also highlights the importance of increasing ventilation and using masks in crowded indoor spaces, as both summer heat and winter cold tend to drive people to gather indoors.

Four years in, I’ve written a lot of COVID-19 posts. From my days as part of the Pfizer/BioNTech vaccine trials through the present, I’ve always tried to give the most updated information and public health guidance available. It’s frustrating that there is less information from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention than when the state of emergency was still in effect but some useful recent data can be found here. A lot of the information in this post came to my attention through this post from Dr. Katelyn Jetelina, writing as “Your Local Epidemiologist” and this post from Those Nerdy Girls.

Through all these challenges, especially when spouse B had the first case of COVID in our house in November, I’ve managed to avoid infection, unless I had a totally asymptomatic case at some point. I use my research to make decisions about vaccination, masking, crowd avoidance, etc. that are right for me and my family. I don’t think that advocating for health measures ought to be seen as controversial or political. There are, though, forces in the US that have warped disease prevention into a political test. It’s very sad that Republicans are more likely to die from COVID than non-Republicans. Please, don’t put your health and the health of your family and neighbors at risk over politics. COVID-19 is still out there. Take care of your health and your loved ones.
*****
Join us for Linda’s Just Jot It January! Find out more here: https://lindaghill.com/2024/01/15/daily-prompt-jusjojan-the-15th-2024/

Energy, exercise, mitochondria, long COVID, ME/CFS, etc.

I almost started to cry when I heard this piece on National Public Radio’s Morning Edition. (The audio clip is at the link, as well as a written transcript which may offer a bit more information than the audio in addition to links to the studies cited and to people providing commentary.)

The piece discusses that people with long COVID have physical changes in their tissues that showed cause for their exhaustion or “post-exertional malaise.” The mitochondria in the muscle cells were not functioning properly, so the muscles could not get the oxygen and energy they needed. It appears that this mechanism is also at work in people diagnosed with ME/CFS and other similar, poorly understood syndromes that exhibit these symptoms.

A member of my family was diagnosed with ME/CFS, then called fibromyalgia/chronic fatigue syndrome in the United States, as a young adult, although she had been having symptoms since early adolescence. She was told that she needed to exercise to build her strength, which was common advice at the time but which proved to be detrimental to her. If she tried to push herself physically at all, she would wind up in so much pain and with so much fatigue that she could barely move for a week or more. As I was listening to the radio piece, I was thinking back to those days, when she was so debilitated that we would strategize when or if she could join the family from her upstairs bedroom because she could only manage the fourteen stairs between the levels once a day, at most.

What made a terrible situation worse was that the doctors would think she “wasn’t trying to get better,” essentially blaming her for her condition when the root of the problem was their lack of understanding of ME/CFS. Effort or mental attitude is not going to repair one’s mitochondria.

I appreciate that research money going to study long COVID is also increasing understanding of ME/CFS and other conditions with similar symptoms. (You can read some of my prior posts referencing long COVID and its commonalities with ME/CFS here and here.) I’m hoping that increased understanding will bring more effective treatments and, at least, an end to blaming patients for “not trying hard enough” to get better.

Compassion is needed in these situations, not judgmentalism.

Compassion is always needed. 
*****
Join us for Linda’s Just Jot It January! Find out more here: https://lindaghill.com/2024/01/12/daily-prompt-jusjojan-the-12th-2024/

another COVID-19 risk

I had saved this article on a research study that showed that SARS-CoV-2, the virus that causes COVID-19, can directly infect coronary arteries, which may help to explain the increased risk of heart attack and stroke among people who have contracted it.

It came to mind now because we received news that a friend’s family member with COVID has suffered a heart attack.

While it’s not known if infection and inflammation of the coronary arteries caused this particular person’s heart attack, it is a stark reminder that COVID can cause serious health complications. Way too many people are still getting sick and dying from it.

While there are no iron-clad ways to avoid infection, preventative measures like vaccines, avoiding crowds, and masking in indoor public spaces reduce your chances of infection and its follow-on risks.

Even if you don’t care about your personal risk of infection, remember that you could pass the infection on to someone who may be more vulnerable than you due to their age or underlying health condition. I know this has been a powerful motivating factor for me.

Please do what is right for you to protect yourself and others to the greatest extent possible.
*****
Join us for Linda’s Just Jot It January! Find out more here: https://lindaghill.com/2024/01/08/daily-prompt-jusjojan-the-8th-2024/

Immigrants to the US

My great-grandparents on my father’s side came to the United States fleeing hunger and political repression. My grandparents on my mother’s side came to the United States for safety as war threatened. Though some at the time decried them for being Irish or Italian and said they didn’t belong here, they found work and safety, raised families, contributed to their communities, and became citizens. My family has members with ancestral roots in Africa, Asia, the Pacific Islands, other European countries, and Canada. My town has people who came from or are descendants of people from around the world, as well as indigenous people. Some have been here for generations; some arrived recently.

We all belong here.

I am appalled at the recent rhetoric from Donald Trump and others of his ilk that migrants “poison the blood of our country.” I believe every person has inherent dignity. Our blood is a life force we hold in common. If you need a transfusion, it’s only the blood type – O, A, B, AB, Rh – or + – that matters, not the race, ethnicity, gender, wealth, or any other attribute of the donor.

My ancestors made their way here without much in the way of financial resources. Some didn’t speak much English. Despite their pale skin, some were not classified as White by the society at the time. They were fleeing hunger, poverty, political upheaval, danger, and violence, the same kinds of things that are now forcing thousands upon thousands from around the world to flee to the United States. Additionally, some of today’s migrants are fleeing due to climate change, for example, because of crop failures, damage from global-warming-enhanced weather systems, desertification, or sea level rise.

These new migrants have a right under United States and international law to seek asylum and a new life here. Yes, it would be safer for them to apply for asylum or visas in the US from their home countries but US immigration policy and infrastructure is decades out of date, which is certainly not the fault of the migrants. Many people who say, “Yes, but I/my ancestors came here legally,” need to realize that it was their country of origin/timeframe that made that possible in a way that is not available to many of the mostly black and brown folks now trying to cross the US southern border, some of whom originate from continents outside the Americas.

They also need to realize that it has been Congressional Republicans who have blocked meaningful, comprehensive immigration reform. For example, the immigration bill passed by the Senate in 2013 would most likely have passed the House on a bipartisan basis but the Republican House leadership wouldn’t put it up for a vote because the majority of the Republican members would have voted against it. Another example, the first bill that President Biden proposed to Congress was a comprehensive immigration reform bill, but it has not even been brought up for debate.

We have appalling actions by some governors, such as Abbott in Texas and DeSantis in Florida, that demonize and further endanger already vulnerable migrants. (Newsflash: People seeking asylum are not “illegal.” They have legal status under national and international law. And, no, states may not set their own immigration policy.) There are chilling promises of detention camps and mass deportations from some in Trump’s camp, were he ever to regain the presidency.

While comprehensive immigration reform will need to wait for a future Congress, the present Congress could take action to help alleviate the current problems. They could allocate funds for more processing centers and immigration judges to assist new migrants and those who are currently awaiting hearings in the coming months/years. They could give additional aid to communities and programs for resettling immigrants. My county has a long history of welcoming immigrants and there are existing organizations that can help people get re-settled.

Most importantly, they could make provisions to get work visas to newcomers and to immigrants who are already in the United States. Unemployment rates in the United States are low and there are a lot of jobs that aren’t being filled. Some of the sectors that need workers are agriculture, hospitality, caregiving, and construction. Many migrants have those skills and are eager to work to support themselves and their families. It’s a win-win situation.

At the same time, there are many unscrupulous employers who have been hiring workers without documents, often at substandard wages and without proper workplace protections. This needs to stop! The workers should be given work visas and the employers should pay fines and be brought into compliance for wages and working conditions. If they were complicit in human trafficking, they should be held responsible for that, as should anyone else involved.

Another threat from the Trump camp is to end birthright citizenship. Under the United States Constitution, anyone born in the United States is automatically granted citizenship. Period. The only way to change it would be to amend the Constitution, which would take a two-thirds vote from both chambers of Congress followed by ratification of three-quarters of the states. No executive order or even a Congressional law can change birthright citizenship because it would be unconstitutional.

One of the strengths of the United States is that it becomes home to people from all over the world and their descendants. In our communities, we share the food and cultural traditions that traveled with us or our ancestors and are free to do so, enriching all who participate. The United States has always been a diverse country, although it’s taken a long time to grant equal rights and that process is still ongoing. We must not turn our back on new arrivals who want to join us. They have gifts to share with us and we have gifts to share with them.

*****
Join us for Linda’s Just Jot It January! Find out more here: https://lindaghill.com/2024/01/04/daily-prompt-jusjojan-the-4th-2024/

In honor of the new year

The New Year poem below was published on December 31, 2015 as part of the Silver Birch Press ME, DURING THE HOLIDAYS series. The photo was our own that we took to accompany the poem. In the note I wrote in 2015, I talked about how we still liked to observe GMT midnight, a family tradition made more meaningful now by the fact that daughter E and granddaughters ABC and JG live in London.

Eastern Standard

As the third millennium turned, 
our family toasted with sparkling cider 
at midnight Greenwich Mean Time, 
seven in the evening for us,
in deference to daughters’ bedtimes.

With our children grown, the two 
of us honor that tradition, 
clink glasses, savor the past, 
sip, hope for the future, 
in evening dark as midnight.

Joanne Corey

This year, we were fortunate to have daughter T at home to celebrate with us with sparkling blush grape juice and pear-apple-cranberry pie that B had made. We were able to tune into the firework and light show from London, which is held on The Thames near the Millennium Wheel. The first time we visited E in London in December, 2019, we went for a ride on the Millennium Wheel, so it was fun to see it as part of the light show.

Best wishes for 2024, Everyone!

Join us for Linda’s Just Jot It January! Find our more here: https://lindaghill.com/2024/01/01/daily-prompt-jusjojan-the-1st-2024/

SoCS: cell phone

Linda very helpfully posts the prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday on Friday so that we have a bit of mulling time – although in-depth planning is against the rules – but, lately, I haven’t been remembering to check on Friday.

Today’s prompt is to write about a word that contains “ph” and the first thing that popped into my head this morning was cell phone, so here goes with straight-up stream of consciousness…

I know I’ve written before about my love/hate – much heavier on the hate than love – relationship with my cell phone. I seldom use it for calls. I prefer people call and leave a message on my landline if I’m out and about. I don’t want to talk to my dentist’s office while I’m out grocery shopping or something. I use my phone mainly for communicating with my family, for example, to text to let them know I’m on my way home.

I almost never use text or calls with businesses unless I have to. It annoys me if I have to use my phone to authenticate all the time. I turn it off at night and am often in a different room than it is during the day.

I seldom even turn on the data. I connect to wifi at home and sometimes when I’m out and about, for example, in a waiting room so I can read mail.

I don’t play games on my phone.

I do sometimes use it for photos but I’m not one of those people who takes photos every day. I’m not one of those people that needs an image to convince myself that something actually happened.

A lot of things that most people do on their phone, I do with my Chromebook. I appreciate a large screen and a keyboard. I also like that it is easy to turn off and leave behind.

So, in our 24/7/365 culture, I am a bit of a throwback. Even though I have a cell phone, you can’t reach me on it anytime, anywhere.

But I will get back to you.

Sooner or later…

Christmas ’23

I’ve been struggling with whether or not to write a post for Christmas Day.

Maybe, it’s because I’ve been struggling with just about everything related to Christmas this year.

For so many years, the Christmas season brought most of our extended family together, often over a period of days and in various constellations, but this year, it will be just me, spouse B, and daughter T at home together. Daughter E and her family are celebrating an ocean away at home in London. B’s and my siblings are all busily dealing with their families and/or medical issues.

This lack of planned travel and guests turned out to have a silver lining when T was offered a slot for a needed shoulder surgery last week due to a cancellation in the surgeon’s schedule. So, our already subdued Christmas plan got even quieter as we have factored in the early stages of recovery.

While I’ve done some of the Christmas preparations, like singing in Lessons & Carols with the Madrigal Choir of Binghamton, writing Christmas cards and letters, and some gift-shopping and wrapping, the bulk of the decorating, cooking, and baking has been handled by B, with an assist from T prior to her surgery.

I’m sure that my feeling more somber than festive is not helped by the state of the world. The continuing horrors of war in Ukraine, the Middle East, Sudan, and elsewhere. The ever-increasing evidence of climate change impacts. The increasingly vile political rhetoric and threats against judges, Jewish people, Muslims, immigrants, pubic officials, etc. here in the US. The local battle against CO2 fracking with global implications here in the Southern Tier of New York. Increases in cases of flu and COVID in the Northern Hemisphere as winter sets in.

This somber time we face is also reflected in my religious observances. For many years, I was actively involved in music and liturgy planning for Advent and the Christmas season, but I haven’t been for a number of years now. While I still attend and participate in services, some of the anticipation and joy is muted for me.

It’s also true that there are many difficult issues raised by the nativity narrative that seem particularly salient to me this year. The real dangers that Mary faced as a young woman facing pregnancy before marriage. Her being forced to travel and give birth away from the comforts of home and neighbor-women who could come to her aid. The threats to her baby’s life. The slaughter of children ordered in an attempt to kill him. Fleeing to protect her child and their becoming refugees.

Angels and magi aside, there was a lot of pain, fear, and loss.

With all of this in my head, I went to 10 PM mass at my church for Christmas Eve. There was a photo of the baby Jesus amid rubble as displayed at a Palestinian-Lutheran Church in Bethlehem, the birthplace of Jesus on the West Bank, where Christmas observances usually draw crowds from around the world but are not being publicly held this year because of the war. The homily dealt directly with the struggle that I have been having this year and called on us to have hope. As part of the homily, we sang the first verse of “O Little Town of Bethlehem” near the beginning and the fourth, final verse at the end. We sang:

O holy Child of Bethlehem,
descend to us, we pray;
cast out our sin and enter in;
be born in us today.
We hear the Christmas angels,
the great glad tidings tell;
O come to us, abide with us,
our Lord Emmanuel!

Phillips Brooks

The message is to have hope because God, who is Divine and Eternal Love, is with all people of good will, as the angels announce.

I admit that hope is not one of my better virtues, but I will continue to add my actions, small though they are, in the efforts to make the world safer, more loving, more kind.

After all these centuries, still searching for the peace the angels proclaimed…