Category: Stream of Consciousness Saturday

SoCS: scones

I just finished eating some yummy apple cinnamon scones that B made.

It’s a recipe that he developed starting from a Bisquick base, so it is quick to put together. Less measuring than working totally from scratch, which he also does.

One of my favorite scratch recipes is his pumpkin scones, for which we often use frozen honey nut squash. Well, you do have to thaw the squash first. In the fall when the farm stands are about to close and are selling winter squash by the box, we often buy a bunch of honey nut squash to bake, mash, and portion out to freeze so that we can use it for recipes for months to come.

But today, the apple cinnamon scones hit the spot.

Starting from the Bisquick base, it’s easy to make lots of variations. Besides fresh fruits, like apples, peaches, or plums, we use dried fruits, such as cranberries, currants, or raisins. There are lots of variations for the recipe, depending on what you have on hand.

We also add a bit of sugar, white or brown, and spice, often cinnamon but possibly nutmeg or cardamon, depending on what we use for fruit.

I hope I’m not making you hungry….
*****
Linda’s prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday this week is “recipe.” Join us! Find out more here: https://lindaghill.com/2024/05/31/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-june-1-2024/

(a different) Mother’s Day

In the US, we are observing Mother’s Day today. While its origin was in a call for peace after the Civil War, today it is celebrated as a tribute to mothers of all types and ages.

Since the death of my mother in May, 2019, Mother’s Day has felt bittersweet to me, as it brings back that time when, within two May weeks, there was my mom’s last Mother’s Day, birthday, and the date of her death. It’s complicated further by having daughter E and granddaughters ABC and JG five time zones away.

This year has brought the additional worry of a family member’s upcoming surgery and the possibility of an underlying disorder yet to be diagnosed.

Then, there is the general upheaval in the US and so many other places in the world, war, hunger, the climate crisis, disasters, and I will end the list here, but we know it is much longer.

It’s a lot with which to contend and I’m not coping very well.

I mentioned in a Stream of Consciousness Saturday post in mid-April that I was hearing a sound in my left ear. This, along with some additional symptoms, has led to several primary care visits, a diagnosis of tinnitus, some attempts at treatment, and, on Friday, a decision to order an MRI to rule out various tumors or other abnormalities.

Of course, there is the possibility of not “ruling out” but discovering.

I admit that I’m struggling. I’m practiced with blocking things out or setting them aside to concentrate on caring for family members. Part of my problem right now is that the timing is unfortunate as I am the main driver and errand-runner and don’t want to be out of commission when I’m needed to help with surgical recovery and follow-on medical appointments. I know spouse B will drop everything at work to take care of things but I also know that his project is in a critical phase right now.

I need humility, trust, and the grace to step aside and let others take over the work I should or have been doing and put other things aside for a while, but it’s hard and I’m worried and tired.

Maybe they will examine my head and not find anything.

Wait. That doesn’t sound right.

Maybe they won’t find anything dangerous.

Maybe, I can get a grip when the MRI is actually scheduled and on my calendar. After all, this is not my first rodeo with medical mystery ailments. Some of them have even been mine. I’m just more annoyed with my own. I know I need to channel some of the compassion I have toward others and apply it to myself.

And maybe take a nap.

It’s been helpful to write this down. I am questioning whether or not it is wise to post it, but have decided to do so because authenticity is part of the charm? hallmark? conceit? of Top of JC’s Mind.

And, yes, it’s Mother’s Day and B is making lamb spiedies and grilled asparagus with his homemade tiramisu for dessert.

And there have been sweet cards and a present.

And the lilies of the valley are starting to bloom.

They were my mother’s birth flower and a favorite of hers.

The photo is from my mother’s 87th and last birthday, lilies of the valley from our yard and cards from my father and their artist-friend Jim.

Miss you today, Mom.

SoCS: notes and notes

As a musician, I think first of musical notes. How many thousands of them have I seen in piano or organ scores, choral music, hymnals, study scores, the Sesame Street Songbook still sitting on my piano, even with no little ones around?

Of course, I think of written notes, too. I still write myself reminder notes or notes to leave on the kitchen counter for the rest of the family when I need to go out. I used to write long-hand notes to people quite a lot, although many of those have been replaced by email at this point.

Does email still qualify as a note?
*****
Linda’s prompt from Stream of Consciousness Saturday this week is “note.” Join us! Find out more here: https://lindaghill.com/2024/05/03/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-may-4-2024/

SoCS: sound

I have a sound in my head.

Well, maybe just in my left ear.

I was hearing a thrumming sound and I thought it was from wall vibrations from our radon removal system but that is fixed now and the sound is still there.

If it doesn’t resolve soon, I’ll contact my doctor…
*****
Linda’s prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday this week is to use a word that ends with “ound.” Join us! Find out more here: https://lindaghill.com/2024/04/12/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-april-13-2024/

SoCS: living room couch

Linda’s prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday this week is to write about a memory of the room you are in. I’m in my living room, looking at our empty couch and remembering a holiday photo when out-of-town relatives arrived to visit after Christmas. We had gathered in front of, on, and behind the couch.

There were my parents, my sisters and one brother-in-law, daughters and son-in-law, niece and nephew. My other brother-in-law isn’t in the photo because he was the photographer.

The person who was there but declined to join the photo was my mother-in-law. We wanted her to join in but she didn’t want to because it was “my side of the family” and she didn’t feel that she belonged. To me, it was just family and she belonged in the photo but, of course, we accepted her decision.

We didn’t know that she would suffer a heart attack that next March and pass away. We just passed the anniversary of her death.

We’ve since lost both my parents. Daughter E and her family are living “across the pond” in London. With my parents gone, I don’t have as many opportunities to see my sisters who came to our area to see them.

So, this morning, empty couch. Lots of memories.

the empty couch

SoCS: the phone

At this point in my life, I’m not a big fan of the telephone.

It can take a lot of time and energy to convince myself to make the call, especially if I know I’m likely to have to work through endless phone menus or get put on hold multiple times and shuffled between service personnel.

(Yeah, looking at you insurance companies, utilities, etc.)

There were periods in my younger years when the phone was an important lifeline and source of connection – when B used to travel a lot on business, when I was away from my mom.

Even after my parents retired near us, I usually also spoke to them every day by phone, even on days when I also saw them in person.

Those calls were not hard to make. Or receive.

I still use my landline for calls whenever I can and still have an answering machine to pick up if I can’t – or if the caller ID suspects spam, which is most of the time these days. All three of us happened to be out together earlier this week and I went to check the machine for messages when we got home. I realized that since Paco (my father) died over two years ago I seldom get personal messages on my phone.

Actually, it’s longer ago than that because Paco forgot how to make phone calls in his last months.

Somehow, though, I keep checking for a call…
*****
Linda’s prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday/Just Jot It January today is “make the call.” Join us! Find out more here: https://lindaghill.com/2024/01/26/the-friday-reminder-for-socs-jusjojan-2024-daily-prompt-jan-27th/ 

SoCS: what’s in a nutshell?

As a writer, or even as a speaker, I have a lot of trouble with putting things in a nutshell.

I don’t like to commit things to print or speech unless I’ve had a long time to mull them and reflect on them deeply. By the time I’ve done that, there is too much material to stuff into a nutshell. (She says while writing stream of consciousness with minimal reflection time…)

I guess I save my “nutshell communication” for poetry, when I’m usually looking to distill the essence into as few words as possible. Just the meat of the matter. Still, though, carrying depth.

Metaphor helps…
*****
Linda’s prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday this week is “in a nutshell.” To find out more about joining the fun of Stream of Consciousness Saturday and/or Just Jot It January, visit here: https://lindaghill.com/2024/01/19/the-friday-reminder-for-socs-jusjojan-2024-daily-prompt-jan-20th/ 

SoCS: headshots

My family is not that big on taking photographs all the time. I am particularly disinclined to selfies, so there are not a lot of close-ups of me.

As a poet, though, one often has to submit headshots to accompany poems and bios, so…

I was lucky that relatively early in my publishing experience I wrote a poem on a prompt from Silver Birch Press for their MY MANE MEMORIES series, which was about our hair. My poem was called “Crowning Glory.” We had to send a close-up photo of ourselves, illustrating the poem, so spouse B and I went into our backyard on a sunny day to show off my silver locks in the sunshine.


Since then, I’ve used this photo whenever I needed to submit a headshot. It’s appeared in a number of journals and is on the back cover of my chapbook, Hearts (Kelsay Books, 2023). It’s the photo that is used here at Top of JC’s Mind and on its Facebook page. When I don’t have a more relevant photo to go with a blog post on Instagram, I use this headshot.

At this point, this close-up is a bit out of date. After cataract surgery, I no longer wear glasses on a regular basis. Due to some dental issues that required using orthodontia to correct my bite, my smile looks a bit different. I have a few more smile wrinkles now.

I really should have a new close-up taken.

Still, I’m so attached to this one and have spread it around to so many places, I’m not quite ready to replace it.

Maybe, someday…

[I should have included that I use this photo on my new author site (joannecorey.com), too. I really have plastered it everywhere!]
*****
Linda’s prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday this week is “close up/close-up.” Please join us for SoCS and/or Just Jot It January! Find out more here: https://lindaghill.com/2024/01/12/the-friday-reminder-for-socs-jusjojan-2024-daily-prompt-jan-13th/ 

SoCS: Just do it – or not.

I am not one of those people who can “just do it.”

I think I’m constitutionally unable to be. (Not constitution as in government document but as in my personal makeup.)

If I am going to commit myself to do “a thing,” I need to consider it first to make sure it is the right thing for me to do at a certain time. I consider this being thoughtful, although it is sometimes mistaken for being slow, uncaring, indecisive, disapproving, etc. This can be frustrating and I sometimes have to explain to people that I just need a bit of time to process/think. People who know me well realize that it is just how I am.

There are times, though, that it might be helpful to be better at “just doing it.” There are times and tasks that I don’t like at all, such as housecleaning, when it might be better if I could just make myself do them rather than deferring.

Admittedly, on these cold, dark winter mornings, it can take an attitude of “just do it” just to get out of bed!

For the most part, though, I am grateful to be able to take time to consider before jumping into action. It may be slower but I make fewer mistakes/missteps when I take time to think rather than “just doing it.”
*****
Linda’s prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday this week is “just do it.” Join us for SoCS and/or Just Jot it January! Find out more here: https://lindaghill.com/2024/01/05/the-friday-reminder-for-socs-jusjojan-2024-daily-prompt-jan-6th/

SoCS: cell phone

Linda very helpfully posts the prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday on Friday so that we have a bit of mulling time – although in-depth planning is against the rules – but, lately, I haven’t been remembering to check on Friday.

Today’s prompt is to write about a word that contains “ph” and the first thing that popped into my head this morning was cell phone, so here goes with straight-up stream of consciousness…

I know I’ve written before about my love/hate – much heavier on the hate than love – relationship with my cell phone. I seldom use it for calls. I prefer people call and leave a message on my landline if I’m out and about. I don’t want to talk to my dentist’s office while I’m out grocery shopping or something. I use my phone mainly for communicating with my family, for example, to text to let them know I’m on my way home.

I almost never use text or calls with businesses unless I have to. It annoys me if I have to use my phone to authenticate all the time. I turn it off at night and am often in a different room than it is during the day.

I seldom even turn on the data. I connect to wifi at home and sometimes when I’m out and about, for example, in a waiting room so I can read mail.

I don’t play games on my phone.

I do sometimes use it for photos but I’m not one of those people who takes photos every day. I’m not one of those people that needs an image to convince myself that something actually happened.

A lot of things that most people do on their phone, I do with my Chromebook. I appreciate a large screen and a keyboard. I also like that it is easy to turn off and leave behind.

So, in our 24/7/365 culture, I am a bit of a throwback. Even though I have a cell phone, you can’t reach me on it anytime, anywhere.

But I will get back to you.

Sooner or later…