Category: musings

Writing about family

Today’s prompt for Linda’s Just Jot It January is “family,” contributed by Kim of Twisted Trunk Travels. Check out their blogs!

Over these last ten-ish years of writing poetry and blogging here at Top of JC’s Mind, I have written way more often about my family than I thought I would. Of course, it made perfect sense to blog about visiting daughter E and son-in-law L in Hawai’i, as folks often blog about their travels, but as time and circumstances changed and I faced the challenges of caregiving for various generations of the family, posts about family became more frequent. I also used poetry as a way to process things that were going on with my family, most notably about my mother’s experiences living with and dying from heart disease, which became my first published chapbook, Hearts (Kelsay Books, 2023).

I do try to protect my family members by referring to them with initials or nicknames rather than their given names. Nearly all of them use a different surname so only people who know us in real life are likely to recognize them from posts. Currently, spouse B and daughter T are most likely to appear as we are living in the same house, although we will soon be going to visit daughter E, son-in-law L, and granddaughters ABC and JG in London. which may generate some posts. My daughters’ grandparents were called on the blog by the names they used for them, Nana and Paco for my parents and Grandma for B’s mom. (Sadly, B’s dad, known as Grandpa, passed away in 2005, before I was blogging and writing poetry, although his death was the subject of one of my earliest published poems.) If you are perusing the archives of Top of JC’s Mind, you’ll come across posts dealing with their final years and the grief following their deaths.

One thing that strikes me about my family posts and poems is how often they spark comments and conversations about people’s own experiences. Knowing that I offer that space for people to reflect on themselves and their own families is a big part of why I continue to write about my family.

What about you? Do you find it helpful to write about your family, either privately in a journal or in more public ways?
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It’s not too late to join in with #JusJoJan24! Find out more here: https://lindaghill.com/2024/01/29/daily-prompt-jusjojan-the-29th-2024/ 

JC’s Confessions #29

In the first few seasons of The Late Show, Stephen Colbert did a recurring skit, then a best-selling book, called Midnight Confessions, in which he “confesses” to his audience with the disclaimer that he isn’t sure these things are really sins but that he does “feel bad about them.” While Stephen and his writers are famously funny, I am not, so my JC’s Confessions will be somewhat more serious reflections, but they will be things that I feel bad about. Stephen’s audience always forgives him at the end of the segment; I’m not expecting that – and these aren’t really sins – but comments are always welcome.

It’s been a hard few months.

More than a few?

Hard to keep track…

When I wrote this post at the end of October, I was re-organizing to structure my time for more poetry and less volunteering, but B’s COVID diagnosis in November, which turned into two weeks of him isolating in part of the house, leaving me responsible for keeping the household going, followed by daughter T’s shoulder surgery/aftermath in December left me with a lot to do, not a lot of holiday spirit, and very little creative brain availability. Thrown on top of this was the unexpected return of the threat of shale gas development, which we thought had ended with the New York State high-volume hydrofracking ban nine years ago, this time in the guise of an unproven scheme to use supercritical carbon dioxide to extract methane from shale and sequester carbon. This necessitated the reactivation of the coalition that won the fracking ban back then and hours of conference calls, research, and emails. Oh, and what I thought would be one or two local interviews for my alma mater turned into a series of zoom interviews across the region, taking a lot more time and energy than I had expected when I said yes to the opportunity. (There’s also some other personal and family health stuff going on, which I won’t go into here.)

I’ve been struggling with prioritizing and keeping my attention where it belongs to finish tasks. My best intentions to simplify have met with the reality tsunami and washed out to sea.

I am, though, not suffering as much as I was last January when I wrote JC’s Confessions #26. Then, I realized I was still grieving. I am in a different place in dealing with losses now.

We are spending a couple of weeks in February visiting our family in London, UK. This will get me away from most meetings. If I’m lucky, I’ll get a little bit of poetry time in the early mornings or late evenings to continue work on revision of my full-length manuscript. I’m attempting to line edit the whole thing and, perhaps, re-order it to prepare for work with a professional editor in April. It’s felt like fits and starts so far but I have worked on about 20% of the poems to this point.

I have followed through on my commitment to post daily for Just Jot It January but will be pulling back the post pace for February and trying to devote that time to poetry.

So, yes, organizing my time and following through on plans is still a work in progress.

And, come next January, there is a possibility that some version of this Confession will recur.

Or, maybe, I’ll finally stop feeling badly about having to re-vamp, re-adjust, postpone, and re-jigger my life so often.

I can hope.
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Join us for Linda’s Just Jot It January! Find out more here: https://lindaghill.com/2024/01/28/daily-prompt-jusjojan-the-28th-2024/

SoCS: the phone

At this point in my life, I’m not a big fan of the telephone.

It can take a lot of time and energy to convince myself to make the call, especially if I know I’m likely to have to work through endless phone menus or get put on hold multiple times and shuffled between service personnel.

(Yeah, looking at you insurance companies, utilities, etc.)

There were periods in my younger years when the phone was an important lifeline and source of connection – when B used to travel a lot on business, when I was away from my mom.

Even after my parents retired near us, I usually also spoke to them every day by phone, even on days when I also saw them in person.

Those calls were not hard to make. Or receive.

I still use my landline for calls whenever I can and still have an answering machine to pick up if I can’t – or if the caller ID suspects spam, which is most of the time these days. All three of us happened to be out together earlier this week and I went to check the machine for messages when we got home. I realized that since Paco (my father) died over two years ago I seldom get personal messages on my phone.

Actually, it’s longer ago than that because Paco forgot how to make phone calls in his last months.

Somehow, though, I keep checking for a call…
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Linda’s prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday/Just Jot It January today is “make the call.” Join us! Find out more here: https://lindaghill.com/2024/01/26/the-friday-reminder-for-socs-jusjojan-2024-daily-prompt-jan-27th/ 

Revisiting a poem on Ukraine

In the early weeks of this most recent phase of the war Russia is waging against Ukraine, Lorette Luzajic of The Ekphrastic Review chose Carousel, a 1906 painting by the Ukrainian artist Olexandr Murashko, as the prompt for the biweekly Ekphrastic Writing Challenge.

I was honored that she chose my poem for inclusion in a powerful set of responses.


In Kyiv

‘round and ‘round
the sisters
on the carousel

up and down
smiling
until

the earth shakes
the horses fall
the bloodied flee

or fight

~~~ Joanne Corey


I’m sorry that, nearly two years later, the Ukrainian people are still suffering this terrible invasion. I call on all freedom-loving nations to continue to support Ukraine without delay and without letting would-be authoritarians or autocrats get in the way. I particularly call on the United States Congress to pass an aid package without preconditions or extraneous amendments.

Human needs are much more important than political points.
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Join us for Linda’s Just Jot It January! Find out more here: https://lindaghill.com/2024/01/25/daily-prompt-jusjojan-the-25th-2024/

One-Liner Wednesday: story books

It had been startling and disappointing to me to find out that story books had been written by people, that books were not natural wonders, coming of themselves like grass.

Eudora Welty

Join us for Linda’s One-Liner Wednesdays and/or Just Jot It January! Find out more here: https://lindaghill.com/2024/01/24/one-liner-wednesday-jusjojan24-the-24th-lights-keep-flickering/ 

Reblog: Marilyn McCabe on Gail DiMaggio

Marilyn McCabe and Gail DiMaggio are original members of the Boiler House Poets Collective, which is how we met. I am pleased to reblog this post from Marilyn’s blog, O Write, in which she offers her reflections on Gail’s poem, “Metta for Judy who Loved a Biker”.

I don’t want to steal any thunder from Marilyn or Gail here, but urge you to check it out.
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Join us for Linda’s Just Jot It January! Find out more here: https://lindaghill.com/2024/01/23/daily-prompt-jusjojan-the-23rd-2024/

JC’s Confessions #28

In the first few seasons of The Late Show, Stephen Colbert did a recurring skit, then a best-selling book, called Midnight Confessions, in which he “confesses” to his audience with the disclaimer that he isn’t sure these things are really sins but that he does “feel bad about them.” While Stephen and his writers are famously funny, I am not, so my JC’s Confessions will be somewhat more serious reflections, but they will be things that I feel bad about. Stephen’s audience always forgives him at the end of the segment; I’m not expecting that – and these aren’t really sins – but comments are always welcome.

I tend to stick with social media platforms, even when they do objectionable things.

I admire those who have stopped reading/posting on Facebook/Meta, X/twitter, Substack, etc. in a principled response to their behavior, but I haven’t been able to bring myself to follow suit.

Instead, I’ve carved out my own way to shelter myself from misinformation and vitriol. I use tools and filters so that I see posts from people I follow rather than a general feed. I manage to block most advertisements. I interact with some platforms, such as Substack, nearly exclusively through articles being sent to my email rather than going to their site. I try not to read comments on political, environmental, religious, or anything-even-vaguely-controversial posts, because things get nasty quickly. I’ve recently started limiting the comments on some of my posts on X to only people that I follow to avoid being attacked over believing in fossil-fuel-driven climate change.

Part of the reason I’ve maintained my presence on some platforms is that there are people with whom I’m connected only there. It’s also because I’m afraid to lose any contacts that I have for my blog and my poetry. I don’t have a large number of followers, so I’m loathe to cut any of them off.

This strategy has been working okay for me for now, but that could change. I’m hoping that my posts create tiny moments of sanity for those that do happen across them.

I also want to thank those that have left platforms for calling attention to problems with social media. I applaud your voices and your commitment.

Maybe, someday, I’ll manage to follow your example.
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Join us for Linda’s Just Jot It January! Find out more here: https://lindaghill.com/2024/01/22/daily-prompt-jusjojan-the-22nd-2024/

for the love of plants

My daughter T loves plants.

She loves them so much that she has a master’s degree in conservation biology of plants. One of her favorite things to do is remove invasive species so that native species can thrive. She can expound at length on the topic of relocating plant species to different elevations and latitudes to help them survive the effects of climate change.

At the moment, it’s winter here and she is recovering from shoulder surgery, so no eradicating of invasive species allowed in the near future.

She has to content herself with tending our indoor plants.

Under her care, the African violets and kalanchoe are in bloom.
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I shockingly used the prompt “plants” from J-Dub of J-Dub’s Grin and Bear It as part of Linda’s Just Jot It January. (It’s only shocking because I seldom use the prompts and usually meander off in my own direction.) Whether you want to use prompts or not, please join us! Find out more here: https://lindaghill.com/2024/01/21/daily-prompt-jusjojan-the-21st-2024/

SoCS: what’s in a nutshell?

As a writer, or even as a speaker, I have a lot of trouble with putting things in a nutshell.

I don’t like to commit things to print or speech unless I’ve had a long time to mull them and reflect on them deeply. By the time I’ve done that, there is too much material to stuff into a nutshell. (She says while writing stream of consciousness with minimal reflection time…)

I guess I save my “nutshell communication” for poetry, when I’m usually looking to distill the essence into as few words as possible. Just the meat of the matter. Still, though, carrying depth.

Metaphor helps…
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Linda’s prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday this week is “in a nutshell.” To find out more about joining the fun of Stream of Consciousness Saturday and/or Just Jot It January, visit here: https://lindaghill.com/2024/01/19/the-friday-reminder-for-socs-jusjojan-2024-daily-prompt-jan-20th/ 

Vote for Democracy ’24 #1

The first major event in preparation for the November ’24 United States presidential election took place last night. Former president Donald Trump won the Iowa caucuses, which will give him twenty delegates in the Republican party nominating convention in the summer. The other twenty delegates were awarded among DeSantis, Haley, and Ramaswamy; Ramaswamy left the race and endorsed Trump after the results were announced. (The Democrats decided to use mail-in ballots with results announced on March 5th.)

Although the nominating conventions won’t be until summer, it is widely expected that the November election will be a contest between current president, Democrat Joe Biden, and the former president, Republican Donald Trump, along with several independent/small party challengers.

That all sounds normal, but it isn’t. Donald Trump is under 91 felony indictments, some in federal cases and others in the states of Georgia and New York. A lot of evidence of his conduct is already publicly available, through government reports, recordings of speeches and phone calls, public comments, interviews, testimony at hearings and trials, and the media. There is also a lot of evidence of other Republicans cooperating with criminal activity or excusing it.

This election is widely considered to be a test of American democracy and values. I’ve struggled with what my role should be in standing up for our Constitution, democracy, and the common good. I do a lot of behind-the-scenes actions, such as writing to my elected officials and other government leaders and donating to political candidates, lobbying organizations, and charities that express my values. I frequently post my views on political topics here at Top of JC’s Mind. In this late November post, I made clear how dangerous I think a second Trump administration would be.

Although I’m painfully aware of my lack of reach, I want to add my voice to those fighting to preserve democracy and promote a national government that serves the common good rather than just the rich and powerful. So, I’ve decided to start an election year series here at Top of JC’s Mind, “Vote for Democracy ’24”, to provide more visibility to these posts.

I plan for these posts to be informative, factual, and reflective of my views. Readers are welcome to add their own views in comments but there are two requirements. Comments must be respectful; I do not allow vulgarity, name calling, or threats on my blog. (I remind those who use “freedom of speech” as an excuse to say whatever they want, wherever they want that the First Amendment is about the government’s actions regarding speech, not private individuals.) Comments must also be based in fact. I will not allow my platform to amplify lies, conspiracy theories, or hatefulness. I will exercise my right to delete comments that violate these requirements. I will respectfully reply to people across the range of opinions if they do follow these requirements. I hope not to do this, but I will block particular people, if needed, or close comments, if things get out of hand.

In November ’23, I wrote:

I know that I will not vote for Trump or any candidate for office at any level who supports him and his dangerous ideas. I will try to get the word out as best I can what those dangerous ideas are because some of the people who support Trump only hear his rhetoric and not the countervailing facts. For example, I encourage people to read the indictments against Trump, which lay out a lot of the underlying evidence. It’s also helpful to read the report of the House Select Committee on the January 6 Attack, as well as the Mueller Report. I also am supporting voices and organizations that are working to uphold democracy, the rule of law, and the common good.

I’m also worried and scared about violence, oppression, and losing my free, if flawed, country to demagogues, authoritarians, and fascists.

While I tend to pay attention to politics and public affairs all the time, many in the United States don’t notice what is going on with government except in presidential election years. I hope to encourage people to look at facts and evidence and draw their own conclusions rather than just following along with a candidate or party by inertia. I have never joined a political party and have a history of voting for candidates from multiple parties. I value my right as a citizen to vote and want others to retain their freedom to do so without obstacles or intimidation. I hope that others in the United States hold similar values regarding voting and that those in other countries stay informed and are able to freely participate in their own governance, although I realize that is an impossibility in some places.

2024 will be a momentous year in US history. Pay attention.
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Join us for Linda’s Just Jot It January! Find out more here: https://lindaghill.com/2024/01/16/daily-prompt-jusjojan-the-16th-2024/