SoCS: mostly overwhelmed

I’ve spent this summer feeling overwhelmed.

Well, mostly.

I’ve had some rare moments where I feel that things are on the right track so that they will get completed successfully on schedule – and then the next set of complications arises and I’m back to feeling overwhelmed.

I had planned for this summer to be mostly about poetry – learning more about marketing to get Hearts properly launched, working on getting poem and manuscript submissions in, and generating new work and revising after workshopping. Oh, and making preparations for the upcoming Boiler House Poets Collective residency at The Studios at MASS MoCA in North Adams that will begin late this month.

There are a lot of sayings about what happens when you make plans and then life happens and they fall apart. You can insert your favorite here…

I sit on a number of boards or committees as a volunteer, all worthy causes, centered around the environment, social justice, and the arts. They usually only take up a couple of hours a month each, but this summer, all of them seemed to simultaneously encounter a serious obstacle or be presented with an important opportunity that demanded a lot more meetings and a lot of prep work between meetings.

This all plays into my natural tendency to analyse and think deeply and brainstorm possible solutions and really, really care deeply – but this summer, about way too many things at once. With a few family health issues thrown on top and B’s move out of the offices, I’ve been feeling really stressed and that I’m not on top of anything.

Oh, and this month will bring the tenth anniversary of Top of JC’s Mind and I wanted to do some things to celebrate, like finally upgrading to have my own domain name and such. Maybe that will happen?

(You can probably tell I’m having trouble keeping my mind on one thing at a time…)

At least, an end is in sight.

The residency will happen whether or not I’m optimally prepared, followed by the official launch of the Third Act Upstate New York Working Group on October 5 – you’ll be hearing more about that when registration information becomes available – and the first Madrigal Choir of Binghamton concert on October 22nd, which you’ll also be hearing more about closer to the date. And stuff will be going on with church and poetry and blogging and family and the news and on and on.

So, I did say “an end” rather than “the end.”

I know that more complications will arise and there will be more to do and ponder and meet about but I’m making plans to step back in some ways so that I’m not feeling so overwhelmed and can try to concentrate more on poetry again, as I had originally intended.

Not sure if I will manage it or not but you’ll probably (eventually) find out by staying tuned here at Top of JC’s Mind.

At least, I hope so…
*****
Linda’s prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday this week is “mostly/at least.” Join us! Find out more here: https://lindaghill.com/2023/09/08/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-sept-9-2023/

SoCS: meetings

Earlier this year, I joined the Madrigal Choir of Binghamton and was somewhat shocked but definitely honored to be offered a seat on their board.

I’ve never been on a board before, although I’ve been on lots of committees. Even though I don’t think being on committees is my strong suit, I did accept.

I haven’t had enough time to figure out yet if it was a mistake.

It’s not that I don’t have ideas to contribute. It’s more the incredible stress of trying to get them out.

I’m an introvert who finds talking to more than two people at a time really stressful. So a board meeting where I know almost no one is daunting. Add in being thrown into the midst of discussions that had been ongoing and for which I have limited background and the stress level goes up exponentially.

I am, however, determined and dogged and faithful, so I will try to do my best to contribute and be a good board member.

At least, for now.

We are coming up on the one year anniversary of my father’s death. After the months of having to deal with all the paperwork and estate settling, I had been trying to re-prioritize my commitments. I thought that I would be doing mostly solitary activities, other than poetry workshopping. Well, and rehearsing with Madrigal Choir.

It hasn’t quite worked out that way.

Besides Madrigal Choir Board, I’ve been involved with the Creation Care Team at my church, which has now also morphed into involvement with the diocesan creation care task force. Dealing with anything on the diocesan level is fraught for me for more complex reasons than I could possibly tackle in SoC.

For sanity’s sake, I know I should scale back, but will I?

Probably not.

Well, not at the moment, anyway…
*****
Linda’s prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday this week is “board/bored.” Join us! Find out more here: https://lindaghill.com/2022/08/26/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-aug-27-2022/