Today is the fourth anniversary of my mother’s death.
As often happens with these dates, sometimes it seems that it couldn’t have been that long and other times it seems longer ago. This warping of time is even more prominent because of the pandemic. I remain grateful that my mother died before we were all faced with the impossible prospect of not being able to visit her in the nursing home where she spent her final months. That would have been a particularly heavy burden for my father, with whom she had celebrated their 65th wedding anniversary a few weeks before she died.
This year feels especially poignant for me as I await the publication of my first chapbook of poetry, Hearts, from Kelsay Books, most likely in June or July. The poems center on my mother with a particular emphasis on her last years dealing with heart failure. She appreciated my writing and I think she would be pleased to know she is the focus of my first book.
She didn’t enjoy having her picture taken, so I will share a photo, taken four years ago in her final days, of one of her favorite flowers, lily-of-the-valley, which was also her birth flower.
Lily of the valley, with Paco’s card to Nana and birthday card made by artist-friend Jim
Love you, Mom. Miss you. Still cry every once in a while…
Yesterday, the proof book for my chapbook, Hearts, arrived.
It’s amazing to hold my book for the first time!
My immediate job is to review it and send final edits to Kelsay. The corrections I had sent in the first round had all been addressed, so there was not much to comment on.
I sent the email today, on what would have been my mom’s 91st birthday.
Yesterday, Merrill Oliver Douglas and I did our first ever appearance as featured readers at the Tioga Arts Council In Owego, NY.
We were excited to have a full house! I also like that in this photo you can see how beautiful the gallery space at the Tioga Arts Council is. At the moment, they are exhibiting artwork from high school students in Tioga county.
The person at the podium is poet Dante Di Stefano, who was serving as our host. His spouse Christina Di Stefano is the executive director of TAC.
I read first. This was the first time I’ve ever done a twenty minute set. I chose to structure my reading in three segments. The first group was four poems that centered around my mother, two from my chapbooks Hearts, forthcoming from Kelsay Books, one from my unpublished collection Small Constellation, and one that was written for the 2022 Women of Words reading at the Broome County Arts Council. Next came four poems that were reactions to happenings in the world or my world, including “The Banned Bookmobile” which was published by Rat’s Ass Reviewhere. I concluded with four poems that center on the North Adams, Massachusetts area, all of which are included in Small Constellation and one of which, “Sprague Suite” (published by Wilderness House Literary Review here) is also in my new chapbook manuscript of ekphrastic poems based on artwork from MASS MoCA (the Massachusetts Museum of Contemporary Art).
I was very happy that the audience connected with my poems. Besides applause, there were nods, smiles, and even a few chuckles at appropriate points. I tried very hard to choose a few poems that had lighter elements, like “Liz Truss or Lettuce.” I think that helped to balance out some of the heavier topics, like the pandemic poem I had included.
What I hadn’t quite expected was that Dante would offer some brief comments on my reading before introducing Merrill. Dante holds a PhD and is widely published, so it was special to hear him praise elements of my work. I have a bit of a complex about my lack of academic credentials in writing, so it meant a lot to me that he recognized the heart of my work.
I was happy to be able to sit back and enjoy Merrill’s reading. She read a few poems from her chapbook Parking Meters Into Mermaids and some of her more recent work, including selections from her collection that is currently looking for a publishing home. Because Merrill and I are both part of the Grapevine Poets, I knew many of the poems from our workshopping sessions, but I love hearing how Merrill chose to edit her poems after we discussed them. As always, I was impressed with Merrill’s ability to choose just the right details to enable us to find our way into the depths of the poem. I am particularly moved by the way she writes about her mother, who is now facing a number of health issues in her elder years.
After Merrill’s reading and Dante’s glowing comments, we had a question and answer period. I had been nervous about this part, fearing that someone would ask something that I was ill-equipped to answer, but, of course, everything was fine. With the reading officially completed, there was time for informal conversation and viewing of the art exhibit. The TAC gift shop had copies of Merrill’s book for sale and she was busy signing copies, in addition to having conversations. We were both happy but tired when we left. Spouse B and Daughter T had both been at the reading and treated me to a celebratory (early) dinner out.
Many thanks to the Tioga Arts Council and Dante and Christina Di Stefano for making my first big reading so memorable. Its success is helping me to feel like more of a poet in my own right, although I will forever think of myself as a poet grounded in community, whether the Binghamton Poetry Project, the Grapevine Poets, the Boiler House Poets Collective, or other groups who have claimed me as a member.
Thanks to Gerri Wiley and Burt Myers who sent me photos of the reading. Only the photo of the sign outdoors was mine.
Very special thanks to Merrill Douglas for her support, friendship, advice, and example. I’m sure I would have been much more nervous were it not for her steadiness and companionship. I admire her work and like to think that we have some elements in common, so that my reading set the stage for hers.
Maybe, we will have the opportunity to do it again sometime…
I’m overjoyed with how well Merrill’s and my poetry reading went this afternoon! We had a wonderfully receptive audience and I’m very grateful to Tioga Arts Council for inviting us.
Many thanks to director Christina Di Stefano and to her poet-spouse Dante Di Stefano for creating such a welcoming space and for their kind words.
There may be another post after I’ve had a bit more processing time, but, for now, I think I will contentedly settle in for the evening at home.
For folks in shouting distance of Owego, NY, please join me and Merrill Douglas for a poetry reading (in-person only) at the Tioga Arts Council, 179 Front St, on Saturday, May 13th, at 1:30 PM. ***** This shameless self-promotion is brought to you by Linda’s One-Liner Wednesdays. Join us! Find out more here: https://lindaghill.com/2023/05/03/one-liner-wednesday-washi-person/
In the first few seasons of The Late Show, Stephen Colbert did a recurring skit, then a best-selling book, called Midnight Confessions, in which he “confesses” to his audience with the disclaimer that he isn’t sure these things are really sins but that he does “feel bad about them.” While Stephen and his writers are famously funny, I am not, so my JC’s Confessions will be somewhat more serious reflections, but they will be things that I feel bad about. Stephen’s audience always forgives him at the end of the segment; I’m not expecting that – and these aren’t really sins – but comments are always welcome.
JC
For decades, I’ve dreaded having to answer the question “What do you do?” or to fill in the blank for “occupation” or “profession” on forms.
Usually, those questions are about earning money and the truth is that I have earned very little money over my lifetime.
What I’ve been used to be called housewife, a term I never liked because it sounds like you are married to a house, not a person. I do sometimes choose the homemaker option from lists that don’t allow me to insert a customized response, although that term also seems too centered on the inanimate. I prefer the term caregiver as more reflective of my role as a daughter, spouse, mother, and grandmother. I think it is unfortunate that the current usage of caregiver has focused on the paid or unpaid work of caring for someone with medical needs, although I’ve dealt with more than the usual share of diagnoses among the generations of family involved.
I will often add volunteer, if I’m given the option. I’ve done many things as a volunteer that others are paid to do, such as church music ministry or facilitating a spirituality book study group. I did major committee stints when my daughters were in school, including a site-based decision making team, curriculum planning committees for music and gifted education, and high school honors program planning, for which the teacher participants were paid, a fact they tried to hide from me as they felt badly that I was spending a lot of time working on these things for free. I also spent a lot of time fighting fracking and advocating for action on climate change, although the vast majority of people doing that are volunteers, with just a few people who are paid to be community organizers. (We laughed when the fracking proponents accused us of being paid by George Soros or whomever, which we certainly were not, all the while knowing that some of them were actually being paid by fossil-fuel-company-financed front groups.)
In more recent years, as writing has become an important part of my life, I’ve wondered what to do with that. Should I list myself as a writer on forms? Is it disrespectful to the people who actually make a living as writers to call myself that? To date, I have never been paid to write, although when my chapbook Hearts is published in the coming months, I will make (a tiny bit of) money. On social media, I tend to list myself as poet/blogger. Most poets and most bloggers earn little-to-no income from those activities, so maybe that is a better descriptor than writer?
Or, now that I’m 62, maybe I should just give up and list myself as retired.
But retired from what? The caregiving, volunteering, and writing still go on…
April is National Poetry Month in the US and there are often poetry readings scheduled in celebration.
This year, the Broome County (NY) Arts Council invited the Grapevine Poets to present a reading, which happened Tuesday evening.
The Grapevine Poets is a group of local poets who meet regularly to workshop each other’s poems, meaning we bring in our drafts for feedback from the poets in attendance in order to assist us in revisions. We also have done manuscript reviews for each other, several of which have been chosen for publication. I am the current record-holder for most manuscripts reviewed with three, my chapbook Hearts (forthcoming soon from Kelsay Books), my full-length collection Small Constellation and my newest chapbook Half a Duet, both of which I am submitting to presses in hope that they will be published someday, too.
While we have been meeting for years and frequently mention the group in our acknowledgements or bios and although we have sometimes read at the same open mics, this was the first time that we formally presented ourselves as the Grapevine Poets. It was very much a collaborative effort with everyone pitching in and divvying up the tasks of scheduling, organizing, publicity, programming, etc. in conjunction with Connie Barnes at the Broome County Arts Council, which is still settling into its new home in the section of State St. in Binghamton often called Artists’ Row.
We decided on a format that each poet would read a poem from another poet we admire and one of our own. We each chose whether or not we wanted the poems to be related to each other in some way. I chose to link my selections thematically, reading “Woman in Suite A, 1922” from Kyle Laws‘ book Uncorseted and my poem “Studio 7 – Building 13” which both relate to a woman’s experience writing in a new studio.
After Connie’s welcome, Wendy Stewart provided the story of the Grapevine Poets, the format of the reading, and her selections. We had decided to each introduce the next poet, so Wendy introduced me and, after my reading, I introduced Sharon Ball. We continued with Burt Myers, Andrée Myers, Merrill Douglas, Jessica Dubey, and J. Barrett Wolf, who also led the question and answer period.
One of our big concerns before the event was would people actually come! I’m pleased to say that we had about thirty-five people there, which is sizable for a poetry reading in our area. There was a bit of a scramble to find and set up more chairs but it was a great problem to have.
I was happy that some people that I had invited were able to attend and that one person came because they recognized my picture from the flier that Burt had designed for the reading. Burt is the art director for the communications and marketing office at Binghamton University and we are grateful to have his professional expertise on hand, as well as his poetic voice.
I’m trying to wrap my head around knowing that some people might come to a reading specifically because it involves me. I’m more accustomed to thinking of myself within a group context, whether it’s the Grapevine Poets or the Boiler House Poets Collective or the Binghamton Poetry Project, and of invitations that come my way to read as being because of these affiliations and my more-established poet-friends.
But, with my first time as featured reader coming up on May 13 at 1:30 at the Tioga Arts Council in Owego along with Merrill Douglas and my first chapbook Hearts forthcoming soon from Kelsay Books, I’m trying mightily to adjust my mindset so I can present myself as more professional, for want of a better term.
Not sure I have the chops to pull it off, but I’ll try.
I was excited to receive 3rd Wednesday‘s Spring 2023 issue in the mail this week, because it includes this poem of mine and I have very few of my poems in print, at least until my chapbook Hearts is available from Kelsay Books later this year.
Joanne Corey 