Category: poetry

SoCS: new eyes

“Yes, it is strange not to wear glasses.”

Since I had my cataract surgeries earlier this month, I’ve been asked many times if it is weird/strange not to be wearing glasses every waking moment – and it is.

I’ve worn glasses since I was six because I was near-sighted. As I got older, I also developed presbyopia, which meant I was also having trouble seeing close up. For the last couple of decades, my glasses have had progressive lenses, which means they have a zone for far, mid-range, and close vision. I also have astigmatism in one eye which was built into my prescription. As I developed cataracts in both eyes, I was also having a lot of difficulty with glare.

And, I also sometimes had trouble with dry eyes, so a lot going on.

I decided to have cataract surgery last year. It took several months to get an appointment with the doctor who had done spouse B’s cataract surgeries, and my parents and mother-in-law’s. He uses advanced laser techniques and gives options to use advanced lens that deal with multiple issues.

B had had good luck with his multifocal lens and only uses glasses for very fine print and low-lighting conditions. In the five years since his surgery, they have added astigmatism correction to multifocal lenses, so I chose those.

The timing of the surgeries was awkward, as they happened while the UK branch of our family was visiting for Easter, but I’m happy with the still-developing results. My distance visit was clear within a day of each surgery. (They were a week apart.) My mid- and near-vision are improving day by day. I’ve used supermarket/drugstore cheaters for a few tasks, although now even the weakest ones are too strong for my “new eyes.” I also have been adjusting the size of my text on screens, although I’m typing this at my prior screen settings, so improvement is definitely happening. It will probably continue for a few more weeks as my eyes heal and my brain adjusts to the new, clearer input.

As I am adjusting to life without glasses, people I know are adjusting, too. I’ve had people comment on it. A few have said I look younger without my glasses. I had thought I might look older – or, at least, more tired – because you can now see all the wrinkles around my eyes and I don’t use make-up so, if I have dark circles under my eyes, they are now easier to see. Of course, I don’t think anyone would tell me I look older without my glasses, even if that is what they thought.

At some point, I suppose I will have to replace the much-beloved headshot I use for Top of JC’s Mind, which B originally took to go with this poem for Silver Birch Press.

Someday, when I’m more used to my new look.

Yes, someday.
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Linda’s prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday this week is yes-. Join us! Find out more here: https://lindaghill.com/2023/04/28/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-april-29-2023/

JC’s Confessions #27

In the first few seasons of The Late Show, Stephen Colbert did a recurring skit, then a best-selling book, called Midnight Confessions, in which he “confesses” to his audience with the disclaimer that he isn’t sure these things are really sins but that he does “feel bad about them.” While Stephen and his writers are famously funny, I am not, so my JC’s Confessions will be somewhat more serious reflections, but they will be things that I feel bad about. Stephen’s audience always forgives him at the end of the segment; I’m not expecting that – and these aren’t really sins – but comments are always welcome.

JC

For decades, I’ve dreaded having to answer the question “What do you do?” or to fill in the blank for “occupation” or “profession” on forms.

Usually, those questions are about earning money and the truth is that I have earned very little money over my lifetime.

What I’ve been used to be called housewife, a term I never liked because it sounds like you are married to a house, not a person. I do sometimes choose the homemaker option from lists that don’t allow me to insert a customized response, although that term also seems too centered on the inanimate. I prefer the term caregiver as more reflective of my role as a daughter, spouse, mother, and grandmother. I think it is unfortunate that the current usage of caregiver has focused on the paid or unpaid work of caring for someone with medical needs, although I’ve dealt with more than the usual share of diagnoses among the generations of family involved.

I will often add volunteer, if I’m given the option. I’ve done many things as a volunteer that others are paid to do, such as church music ministry or facilitating a spirituality book study group. I did major committee stints when my daughters were in school, including a site-based decision making team, curriculum planning committees for music and gifted education, and high school honors program planning, for which the teacher participants were paid, a fact they tried to hide from me as they felt badly that I was spending a lot of time working on these things for free. I also spent a lot of time fighting fracking and advocating for action on climate change, although the vast majority of people doing that are volunteers, with just a few people who are paid to be community organizers. (We laughed when the fracking proponents accused us of being paid by George Soros or whomever, which we certainly were not, all the while knowing that some of them were actually being paid by fossil-fuel-company-financed front groups.)

In more recent years, as writing has become an important part of my life, I’ve wondered what to do with that. Should I list myself as a writer on forms? Is it disrespectful to the people who actually make a living as writers to call myself that? To date, I have never been paid to write, although when my chapbook Hearts is published in the coming months, I will make (a tiny bit of) money. On social media, I tend to list myself as poet/blogger. Most poets and most bloggers earn little-to-no income from those activities, so maybe that is a better descriptor than writer?

Or, now that I’m 62, maybe I should just give up and list myself as retired.

But retired from what? The caregiving, volunteering, and writing still go on…

The Grapevine Poets Read

April is National Poetry Month in the US and there are often poetry readings scheduled in celebration.

This year, the Broome County (NY) Arts Council invited the Grapevine Poets to present a reading, which happened Tuesday evening.

The Grapevine Poets is a group of local poets who meet regularly to workshop each other’s poems, meaning we bring in our drafts for feedback from the poets in attendance in order to assist us in revisions. We also have done manuscript reviews for each other, several of which have been chosen for publication. I am the current record-holder for most manuscripts reviewed with three, my chapbook Hearts (forthcoming soon from Kelsay Books), my full-length collection Small Constellation and my newest chapbook Half a Duet, both of which I am submitting to presses in hope that they will be published someday, too.

While we have been meeting for years and frequently mention the group in our acknowledgements or bios and although we have sometimes read at the same open mics, this was the first time that we formally presented ourselves as the Grapevine Poets. It was very much a collaborative effort with everyone pitching in and divvying up the tasks of scheduling, organizing, publicity, programming, etc. in conjunction with Connie Barnes at the Broome County Arts Council, which is still settling into its new home in the section of State St. in Binghamton often called Artists’ Row.

We decided on a format that each poet would read a poem from another poet we admire and one of our own. We each chose whether or not we wanted the poems to be related to each other in some way. I chose to link my selections thematically, reading “Woman in Suite A, 1922” from Kyle Laws‘ book Uncorseted and my poem “Studio 7 – Building 13” which both relate to a woman’s experience writing in a new studio.

After Connie’s welcome, Wendy Stewart provided the story of the Grapevine Poets, the format of the reading, and her selections. We had decided to each introduce the next poet, so Wendy introduced me and, after my reading, I introduced Sharon Ball. We continued with Burt Myers, Andrée Myers, Merrill Douglas, Jessica Dubey, and J. Barrett Wolf, who also led the question and answer period.

One of our big concerns before the event was would people actually come! I’m pleased to say that we had about thirty-five people there, which is sizable for a poetry reading in our area. There was a bit of a scramble to find and set up more chairs but it was a great problem to have.

I was happy that some people that I had invited were able to attend and that one person came because they recognized my picture from the flier that Burt had designed for the reading. Burt is the art director for the communications and marketing office at Binghamton University and we are grateful to have his professional expertise on hand, as well as his poetic voice.


I’m trying to wrap my head around knowing that some people might come to a reading specifically because it involves me. I’m more accustomed to thinking of myself within a group context, whether it’s the Grapevine Poets or the Boiler House Poets Collective or the Binghamton Poetry Project, and of invitations that come my way to read as being because of these affiliations and my more-established poet-friends.

But, with my first time as featured reader coming up on May 13 at 1:30 at the Tioga Arts Council in Owego along with Merrill Douglas and my first chapbook Hearts forthcoming soon from Kelsay Books, I’m trying mightily to adjust my mindset so I can present myself as more professional, for want of a better term.

Not sure I have the chops to pull it off, but I’ll try.

One-Liner Wednesday: cover reveal!

Kelsay Books has sent me the finished cover for my poetry chapbook, Hearts, coming soon! (Cover photo by Brian Breeden on unsplash.com.)

Join us for Linda’s One-Liner Wednesday! Find out more here: https://lindaghill.com/2023/04/26/one-liner-wednesday-what-do-you-think/

One-Liner Wednesday: 3rd Wednesday

I was excited to receive 3rd Wednesday‘s Spring 2023 issue in the mail this week, because it includes this poem of mine and I have very few of my poems in print, at least until my chapbook Hearts is available from Kelsay Books later this year.

This shameless self-promotion is brought to you using the vehicle of Linda’s One-Liner Wednesdays. Join us! Find out more here: https://lindaghill.com/2023/03/29/one-liner-wednesday-glad-i-didnt-owe-anything/

One-Liner Wednesday: BHPC Rumpus!

As I wrote in this post yesterday, a new interview with members of the Boiler House Poets Collective by Devon Ellington is available at The Rumpus.

This shameless bit of self-promotion is thanks to Linda’s One-Liner Wednesdays. Join us! Find out more here: https://lindaghill.com/2023/03/22/one-liner-wednesday-like-one-of-your-french-girls-2/

Boiler House Poets Collective on The Rumpus!

As one of the original members of the Boiler House Poets Collective, I’m thrilled to share an interview that Devon Ellington did with some of our members for The Rumpus. (I realize I threw an inordinate amount of links in that sentence; the “interview” link will open the article in a new tab.)

When Devon contacted us with interview questions, it was a pleasant and energizing surprise. Email messages and reminiscences flew among us. It was fun for those of us who are “originals” to fill in some of the history for people who have joined more recently.

It also highlighted the strength of being a collective in that we can retain our core identity while incorporating new members. At this fall’s residency, for the first time, “originals” will be in the minority. I admit to anticipatory sadness at missing seeing so many of my BHPC poet-friends, but I’m excited to add to our ranks as we continue to grow as artists and as community.

I hope you enjoy the article and want to explore more about BHPC. You can check out our inaugural reading in the Boiler House at MASS MoCA and more under the Collaborative Projects tab.

Poem on Silver Birch Press

I’m pleased to share that my poem Kaʻūpūlehu has been included as part of the ONE GOOD MEMORY series from Silver Birch Press. Many thanks to Melanie and the team at Silver Birch Press for including my poem in this series.

I especially appreciate that Silver Birch Press includes an author’s note with each piece. It gave me the opportunity to spread the word about the Kaʻūpūlehu dryland forest of Hawai’i.

This poem began as a response to a Binghamton Poetry Project prompt in spring of this year. You can read a bit about the writing of this poem in my blog post here.

As Silver Birch’s call for submissions states, “The past few years have been the most difficult that most of us have lived through. It’s a challenge on many days to stay positive. At times like this, it’s heartening to remember good experiences. Sharing each other’s good memories can help us remain hopeful during these challenging times.”

I’m honored to have this poem featured among dozens upon dozens of other good memories as part of this series. I invite you to explore these uplifting poems and to reflect on your own good memories. We can all use an extra measure of hope in our day.

As always, comments are welcome – here on Top of JC’s Mind, at Silver Birch Press, on Facebook, twitter, ello, and Post. Your choice!

Sent!

Today, I sent my chapbook Hearts and all the other appropriate files to Kelsay Books so that the layout process can begin.

Yay!

It will be a number of months before I get to hold my first book in my hands, but it definitely seems more real now.

One of the most emotional things for me is reading the blurbs from other poets that will go on the back cover.

I wonder how long it will be before I can read them without tearing up…

JusJoJan: the end

So, it’s late afternoon on January 31st and I’m just getting the chance to write my final post for Linda’s Just Jot It January.

Linda’s prompt for today is “write” and my original intent had been to write about the end of Just Jot It January, so two birds with one stone.

I had been trying for the month to prepare my posts a day ahead in order to get them out in the morning, but I didn’t manage it today. I didn’t even check my blog this morning, as I had decided to do some more work on the final layout for my chapbook manuscript, Hearts, to send to Kelsay Books, my publisher.

Of course, I got distracted and wound up sending out a submission of three ekphrastic poems for a contest, which meant writing a more-involved-than-usual cover letter. (I did get some manuscript work done, too.)

I also wound up contributing to a couple of “poetry business” email threads, one for the Grapevine Poets and one for the Boiler House Poets Collective.

I wrote a birthday card and note to a friend – longhand and everything!

And now, finally, this post.

I am happy and relieved to have managed to post every day this month for #JusJoJan. I wrote more “heavy” posts than I intended, but it’s been that kind of month.

I’m not planning to post every day in February, though.

I need to spend some time on other projects and to get ready for a trip to the UK to visit our family there.

That should generate a few posts…
*****
I hope you’ve enjoyed Linda’s Just Jot It January. Thanks so much, Linda, for making it possible! Find out more here: https://lindaghill.com/2023/01/31/daily-prompt-jusjojan-the-31st-2023/