Category: musings

JC’s Confessions #32

In the first few seasons of The Late Show, Stephen Colbert did a recurring skit, then a best-selling book, called Midnight Confessions, in which he “confesses” to his audience with the disclaimer that he isn’t sure these things are really sins but that he does “feel bad about them.” While Stephen and his writers are famously funny, I am not, so my JC’s Confessions will be somewhat more serious reflections, but they will be things that I feel bad about. Stephen’s audience always forgives him at the end of the segment; I’m not expecting that – and these aren’t really sins – but comments are always welcome.

I am (perhaps overly) proud of my intellect.

It wasn’t always that way.

I was brought up with the ethos of “do the best you can” and the good fortune that my best fit in well with the expectations of schooling. That, coupled with a natural love of learning, landed me various honors. High school valedictorian, also attained by both my older and younger sisters. Phi Beta Kappa and summa cum laude at Smith College, where I was also the Presser Scholar in music my senior year. While I was thrilled to be recognized, I could chalk up the honors to my hard work and liberal-artsy curiosity rather than ascribing it to particular intelligence.

Developing pride came more as a self-defense mechanism when I was a young mom. I had chosen to be the full-time, at-home caregiver, facilitated by the time and place in which B and I were navigating parenthood. This was not, though, the lifestyle expected of a high-achieving, Seven-Sisters grad. Without the external validation of a paying job and in contravention of the “having it all” Super-woman model of the 1980s, I developed pride in who I was and what I chose to do – and do well, as I continued to do the best that I could – almost as a defense mechanism.

This quiet pride helped me navigate a number of challenges in our family life and in my volunteer work over decades, but pride is both a positive attribute and a “deadly sin.”

As many of you know, I’ve been struggling with a still-not-fully-diagnosed medical condition, now well into its second year, that has caused significant brain fog and fatigue. In particular, I’ve lost access to my creative side, which is a huge blow to my life as a poet, and my ability to research, synthesize, and think critically is diminished both in scope and duration.

It’s a difficult time in my life and made more so because my intellect has long been such a core part of my identity.

Who am I living with this disability?

How will I face the prospect of losing the life of the mind that I have cultivated and loved for so long?

I’ve been fighting my way through the medical maze to try to regain what I’ve lost but it’s not at all clear at this point that it will be possible. I also am facing the prospect that I could deteriorate further.

Can I remain proud of who I am?

I know the answer should be yes, in keeping with the dignity inherent in each person.

It remains to be seen if I can apply the grace I give to others to myself.

My Poem in Paterson Literary Review!

2025 Paterson Literary Review cover: Maria Mazziotti Gillan, Woman in Red Asian Shawl

Yesterday, I was thrilled to receive my contributor copy of the 2025 Paterson Literary Review. The link is to their site; the 2025 issue is not yet available to order but should be shortly.

For those of you who may not be familiar, the founding editor of the Paterson Literary Review is Maria Mazziotti Gillan, poet, editor, educator, artist, and Bartle Professor Emerita of English and creative writing at Binghamton University. I live in the Binghamton area and, while I never had the privilege of studying with her, many of the local poets that I have learned from through the Binghamton Poetry Project and through other local workshops were her students and often referred to her and used her books of prompts in our work together.

Having a poem in PLR is a dream come true for me. It’s an honor to be in the company of such distinguished poets. I’d start naming names but the post would go on too long and, with a 53 year history, I’d invariably leave out someone whom I should include.

My poem is “Giovanni” and is about my maternal grandfather. It’s part of my yet-to-be-published full-length collection, The Beyond Place, which centers on the North Adams, Massachusetts area, where I grew up and several generations of my family lived. The Hoosac Tunnel is part of the fabric of this poem.

Because of my health issues, I haven’t been able to do much poetry work, including submissions, for months. I submitted “Giovanni” last September and it was accepted in November, but, because the Paterson Literary Review is a huge undertaking to print – this edition has over 300 pages – it is just arriving now. It’s good for me to have a reminder that I am still acknowledged as a poet, even when I’m not able to do much work at the moment.

Thank you, Maria Mazziotti Gillan, for the honor of appearing in the Paterson Literary Review!

One-Liner Wednesday: good trouble

“Rosa Parks inspired me to find a way to get in the way, to get in trouble… good trouble, necessary trouble.”
~~~ Representative John Lewis (1940-2020)

Tomorrow, on the fifth anniversary of John Lewis’s death, people are coming together to cause “good trouble” on behalf of freedom, love, and community. For more information and to find an event, please visit https://goodtroubleliveson.org/.

Join us for Linda’s One-Liner Wednesdays! Find out more here: https://lindaghill.com/2025/07/16/one-liner-wednesday-did-i-mispronounce-it/

SoCS: two years of Hearts!

Linda’s prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday this week is “something that opens.”

Something that opens is my first chapbook, Hearts. In a shameless exercise in self-promotion, I’m using this post to draw attention to a post that I just finished about the second anniversary of Hearts.

Check it out!

25 months of Hearts

A little over two years ago, Hearts, my first poetry chapbook was published by Kelsay Books. The poems center around my mother, concentrating on her final years as she lived with heart failure.

I know that many people are unfamiliar with the term “chapbook.” A chapbook is a short book that is usually organized around a central theme.

As someone who didn’t pursue poetry until later in life, I am honored to have a book in print. There are several ways to buy a copy: directly from Kelsay Books, from Amazon, on special order from any bookstore that has access to Ingram, or directly from me, in person or by mail. (Please send me an email at jcorey.poet@gmail.com to make arrangements.)

People who have been following my history as a poet know that I had very little formal coursework in poetry; I have developed my skills through the generous sharing of my poetry community, including the Binghamton Poetry Project, the Grapevine Poets, and the Boiler House Poets Collective.

What has been more difficult is developing the publicity skills needed to promote a book. I am by nature an introvert and struggle with self-promotion. I’m also not great with asking people to spend money. Unfortunately, there have been other obstacles in the form of personal and family health struggles that have kept me from doing a great job at selling my book.

I am very grateful for the friends – and the people who are unknown to me – who have read my book. I especially appreciate those who have reached out to me about Hearts, often sharing stories about their own loved ones. I write in order to connect with others and am deeply honored that my work resonates with them.

One thing that I hadn’t anticipated was what it feels like to lose friends who have read Hearts and written or spoken to me about it. It adds another aspect to their loss. I also wonder what will become of the copies that they had, especially when they are inscribed. I somehow imagine someone picking up a copy in a secondhand bookstore and wondering who the prior owner was and how I was connected to them.

I still hope to publish another book some day/year but I will always be pleased that my first book was about my mom.

And every time I see bleeding hearts, I think about Hearts and about her.

July 4th

Vote for Democracy #42

(Photo by Lucas Sankey on Unsplash)

Today is July 4th, observed in the United States as Independence Day, commemorating the signing of the Declaration of Independence in 1776.

The Declaration of Independence is a fundamental document for the United States and a copy of it currently hangs in the president’s Oval Office.

Unfortunately, Donald Trump does not seem to know what it says.

In an interview with Terry Moran two months ago, he answered a question about what the Declaration of Independence means to him by saying, “Well it means exactly what it says, it’s a declaration, it’s a declaration of unity and love and respect and it means a lot and it’s something very special to our country.”

While Trump is correct that the Declaration of Independence means a lot and is very special, he totally mischaracterizes its meaning and purpose.

The Continental Congress was declaring their freedom from Great Britain and its king, whose tyrannical actions they enumerate.

It is horrifying that the current president and administration are perpetrating tyrannical actions now, some of which reflect those in the Declaration and some additional ones.

It makes this 249th anniversary a somber one but also a challenge to all of us to speak up for our founding principles and the rule of law, for a government that “promote(s) the general welfare” as spelled out in the Preamble to our Constitution. This struggle needs to be carried out in justice and non-violence and progress may be slow, but, I hope, that our 250th anniversary next year will see us making progress toward realizing our democratic ideals rather than retreating further toward autocracy.

The Declaration declares that all are equal and endowed “with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

May our 250th Independence Day be with a government that recognizes the civil and human rights of all people so that we can truly celebrate our democracy on July 4th, 2026.

My Bolt and presidents

I was getting something out of my Chevy Bolt EV in a parking lot of a small store/gas station yesterday when someone said, “Biden’s not president anymore.”

When I straightened up the only person who was there was a driver making a delivery about to enter the store, so, apparently, this comment was directed at me.

Here’s what I could have said, had this person actually wanted to have a conversation with me:

“Oh, are you asking about my car? Actually, we bought our Bolt in 2017, a couple of months into Trump’s first term. Our Chevy Bolt is a great, American-made car, which is much cheaper to power and maintain than a gasoline-powered one. It’s also fun to drive and has as much torque as a Camaro. You should test-drive an EV next time you are in the market.”

I’m hoping to still have my Bolt after Trump leaves office – and I hope that his successor will support electric vehicles more like Biden than Trump.

sorrow

Vote for Democracy #41

(Photo by Lucas Sankey on Unsplash)

I’m not able to write much these days for various reasons, but wanted to express my deep sorrow at the immense damage that Donald Trump and his administration are inflicting both in the US and around the world.

While I’m trying to do my (infinitesimal) part in bringing our country back to decency, I am comforted knowing that millions of others are doing their part, too.

Still, the sorrow remains for the lives lost and the damage done already and for those who will continue to be affected in the future, even after the United States government returns to sanity, decency, and striving for the ideals spelled out in our Constitution and laws.

New essay by Ellen Morris Prewitt

Photo Credit: Ellen Morris Prewitt

On December 7, 2024, I shared Ellen Morris Prewitt’s essay about the 150th anniversary of the Vicksburg Massacres.

Ellen is the granddaughter of the main instigator of the Massacres and has been sharing her experiences as she has researched her family’s involvement and grappled with the continuing legacy of racism.

Now, Ellen has a powerful essay entitled “Granddaughter of The Instigator” in the Juneteenth special edition of Salvation South, which delves further into her witness to the legacy of the Vicksburg Massacres on a community and personal level. This essay is an excerpt from her memoir-in-progress, Loving My Hateful Ancestors. You can read a post about the publication of the essay in Ellen’s Very Southern Voice blog and, while you’re there, subscribe to her newsletter and/or follow her blog.

I just realized that I keep referring to Ellen Morris Prewitt by her first name, as though we were acquainted in real life, but we only met each other through blogging. Her writing is so vivid and heartfelt, though, that I feel as if we know each other through our posts and our comments on each other’s blogs with a side of occasional personal emails.

I’m a fan of Ellen’s and invite you to join me!

One-Liner Wednesday: the people and government

The people are what matter to government and a government should aim to give all the people under its jurisdiction the best possible life.

~~~ Frances Perkins

This flashback to the Franklin D. Roosevelt administration brought to you with an invitation to join us for Linda’s One-Liner Wednesdays! Find out more here: https://lindaghill.com/2025/06/18/one-liner-wednesday-handy-trick/