Category: music

JC’s Confessions #30

In the first few seasons of The Late Show, Stephen Colbert did a recurring skit, then a best-selling book, called Midnight Confessions, in which he “confesses” to his audience with the disclaimer that he isn’t sure these things are really sins but that he does “feel bad about them.” While Stephen and his writers are famously funny, I am not, so my JC’s Confessions will be somewhat more serious reflections, but they will be things that I feel bad about. Stephen’s audience always forgives him at the end of the segment; I’m not expecting that – and these aren’t really sins – but comments are always welcome.

I try to take mental notes as I go through life in order to give myself guideposts for the future, to give myself advice as needed.

I have watched, sadly, some instances when, as people struggled with medical conditions, they stopped doing things because they were embarrassed to be seen needing assistance or having to do things differently.

As I’ve been dealing with my still undiagnosed health problems since March, I’ve tried to keep some of my commitments going, even though that has meant making major accomodations. For example, I’ve sung the last two Madrigal Choir concerts seated because my balance problems have made standing without support to sing impossible. I also only made it through our afternoon rehearsals by lying down before rehearsal and during our break because it’s difficult to hold my head up unsupported as the day goes on.

I’ve put other commitments on hold totally, even though I get “can’t you just?” comments. The truth is that whatever I do comes at a cost. If I push too hard, I pay for it with a surge of symptoms and fatigue that can go on for days. I choose to do that for a limited number of things but I can’t do it for everything or I literally would not be able to get out of the house – or even out of bed.

We may be close to getting, at least, a partial diagnosis and some treatment, if I’m lucky. I’m alternating between hope and despondency. I don’t know how much longer I can keep this unsatisfying balancing act going.

Do I have the humility to keep asking for the accomodations I need to keep a few of my activities going or do I give up and wait to see if I can get back to doing all the things I want in the way I’m accustomed?

It’s difficult, because I’ve seen too many people lose some joy and time with friends waiting to get better when they never did. With my limited energy and brainpower, I’m fighting to keep some things going, when the alternative would seem to be losing them totally and, perhaps, irrevocably.

So, what am I confessing?

I know my health condition is not a sin. Or what I’m doing to try to cope. Or not being able to power through these situations.

But I do feel guilty for letting people down and not being able to do what I want and not having my accustomed creative and critical thinking skills.

Maybe not for much longer.

Maybe permanently.

One-Liner Wednesday: Welcome, John Vaida!

The Madrigal Choir of Binghamton is thrilled to announce that John M. Vaida will be our next artistic director, beginning in January, 2025, with his first concert with us scheduled for March 30th.

This celebratory announcement is brought to you as part of Linda’s One-Liner Wednesdays. Join us! Find out more here: https://lindaghill.com/2024/12/18/one-liner-wednesday-such-a-great-idea/

One-Liner Wednesdays: Lessons and Carols on Dec. 1

Binghamton NY area folks, please join the Madrigal Choir of Binghamton for our annual presentation of Lessons & Carols for Christmas on Sunday, Deceember 1st at Trinity Memorial Episcopal Church.

Please join us for Linda’s One-Liner Wednesdays! Find out more here: https://lindaghill.com/2024/11/27/one-liner-wednesday-gasp/

One-Liner Wednesday: Joan’s birthday

in honor of what would have been my friend Joan’s 65th birthday, I’m sharing this post I wrote about her when she passed away in June of this year with love and fond memories.

Please join us for Linda’s One-Liner Wednesdays! Find out more here: https://lindaghill.com/2024/11/20/one-liner-wednesday-my-cup/

another tribute?

Last week, I attended a choral concert at Binghamton University that had been billed as a tribute to Dr. Bruce Borton, who had served in the music department for almost three decades and who passed away in August.

I wrote here about the concert that the Madrigal Choir of Binghamton presented last month and had hoped that the concert at the University would address Bruce’s legacy there, but I was disappointed. It seemed that the choral groups had prepared their fall concert as usual and just tacked a couple of pieces on the end that they tied to Dr. Borton.

The most direct tie was the combined choirs singing “Bogoroditse Devo” from the Rachmaninoff All-Night Vigil. I had sung the piece with the now-defunct University Chorus under Bruce’s direction and this particular movement additional times. It was chosen because Bruce was a scholar of Rachmaninoff and loved this work in particular.

It was difficult for me to listen to it. I knew it well and could notice the differences in interpretation but the most glaring difference was the lack of maturity in the sound, especially from the basses. It’s not, of course, the singers’ fault that their voices are still maturing, but it demonstrated the reason that University Chorus, which included students, staff, and community members, was so important to Bruce. A more age-diverse choir can produce a richer sound and excute a greater expressive range than a younger choir. This might not matter with some repertoire, but it does with Rachmaninoff.

I was disappointed that they hadn’t reached out to the University Chorus alums still in the area to join the students to perform this piece. It wouldn’t have taken much rehearsal to include us as we know the piece well and it would have been very meaningful for us. I wish they had also reached out to us or a faculty member who worked with Bruce to speak about him. As it was, the only spoken tribute was from a former graduate conducting student, read from a cell phone by one of the conductors.

The concert intensified my feelings of loss, not only of Bruce but also of University Chorus, which was so dear to his heart and to our community.

a tribute to Bruce Borton

On Sunday, the Madrigal Choir of Binghamton (MCOB) opened its 46th season with a tribute concert to our late director, Dr. Bruce Borton, who passed away in August. He was only the second artistic director of Madrigal Choir and had served on their board and sung with them before being chosen as artistic director when founder Anne Boyer Cotten retired.

For the first few years of his tenure as MCOB director, Bruce was finishing out his long career with Binghamton (NY) University where I had had the privilege of singing under his direction for 29 years as part of the University Chorus, which included singers from the community as well as staff and students from the university. After the closure phase of the pandemic, with Univeristy Chorus permanently disbanded and Madrigal Choir in need of some additional voices, Bruce welcomed me to the second soprano section and invited me to serve on the MCOB board.

In spring of ’23, Bruce developed a serious illness and was on medical leave for most of the ’23-’24 season. He was, though, able to return to conduct Randall Thompson’s Frostiana for our spring concert in April. I had had a feeling at the time that it would be our last opportunity to sing under his direction but had not expected his decline to advance so quickly. I was grateful to be able to join with members of the Madrigal Choir, the Trinity Memorial Episcopal choir, and some of his former students at the University to sing at his funeral.

Uncharacteristically for me who often writes about difficult things in the moment, I couldn’t bring myself to post about Bruce until now.

The Madrigal Choir concert on Sunday was named for the anthem that Bruce had composed in honor of the 25th anniversary of his friend and colleague, Peter Browne, as music director of their church, Trinity Memorial Episcopal. The text is 1 Corinithians 13, which centers on love and is often used at both weddings and funerals. The second half of the concert began with a tribute to Bruce by Alison Dura, long-time Madrigal Choir singer, officer, and board member, followed by the singing of “Love Never Ends.” It was especially poignant to be singing it at Trinity, accompanied by the organ Peter had played for so many years and where both Peter’s and Bruce’s funerals had been held. The meaningfulness of the text and the beauty of Bruce’s setting were able to help me sing it without breaking.

The concert concluded with Morten Lauridsen’s Lux Aeterna, which re-interprets Latin texts and chant into more modern tonalities. It was a reflective way to remember Bruce as we sang, “Requiem aeternam dona eis, Domine, et lux perpetua luceat eis.” Rest eternal grant to them, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon them.

Alleluia. Amen.

One-Liner Wednesday: Madrigal Choir of Binghamton concert on Sunday

If you are in the Binghamton, NY area, please join the Madrigal Choir of Binghamton for this concert, which will include a tribute to our late director, Bruce Borton.

Join us for Linda’s One-Liner Wednesdays! Find out more here: https://lindaghill.com/2024/10/23/one-liner-wednesday-no-better-time/

losing Joan

(Photo by July on Unsplash)

I got news yesterday of the death of a college friend.

Joan and I met in Ron Perera‘s first-year music theory class. Like me, Joan was a western Massachusetts native and a Catholic with close ties to her family. She was a talented violinist. I remember her giving a demonstration to our theory class, showing us all the techniques used to create different sonorities for us to use in our compositions.

For junior year, Joan went to the University of Michigan and decided to transfer there to finish her education. However, “once a Smithie, always a Smithie,” Joan remained a member of the Smith College class of ’82.

Joan went on to a successful career playing in orchestras, concluding with a long tenure with the Kennedy Center Opera Orchestra in Washington, DC. Her performance schedule kept her busy but, two years ago, she was able to attend our 40th reunion in Northampton, visiting family in the area which hadn’t been possible during the height of the pandemic. While we had been keeping in touch over the years, it was the first time in decades that we had seen each other and it was great. We started speculating where we would each be living post-retirement when our 45th reunion rolled around.

Right after reunion, Joan developed COVID. Fortunately, she wasn’t very sick but she was bummed about missing some of her opera performances.

It was a shock when she was diagnosed with acute lymphoma that fall. She immediately began chemotherapy. Due to the intensity of the treatment and her weakened immune system, she had to stay at home, where her husband Paul was her loving and capable caregiver.

In summer of last year, Joan was able to resume performing while her treatment migrated to a maintenance regimen. This January, she was posting about the orchestra.

And, sometime since, her remission ended and the cancer came back with a vengeance.

I didn’t know.

Early this month, I had emailed her some new photos of my granddaughters and Joan sent a reply about how beautiful they are. Sending photos had been something I had done during her home-bound period and continued to do from time to time. I am grateful that I was unknowingly able to add a moment of love and beauty to her final weeks.

Hearing the news of Joan’s death from our Smith friends was a shock and brought waves of tears. It’s also brought to mind this recent Washington Post article, raising the disturbing prospect that SARS-CoV -2 infection may play a role in the development of cancer, particularly rare or unusual ones. It will take years of research to determine whether or not this is the case but the mystery of it all is disquieting.

The final commendation at Joan’s funeral will begin, “May the angels lead you into Paradise.” May there be a beautiful violin waiting for you there, Joan.

One-Liner Wednesday: AGO Members concert!

Binghamton area folks are cordially invited to attend the Members Recital of our local chapter of the American Guild of Organists on Sunday, June 2, 2024 at 4 PM at the United Presbyterian Church of Binghamton, 42 Chenango Street.

Join us for Linda’s One-Liner Wednesdays! Find out more here: https://lindaghill.com/2024/05/29/one-liner-wednesday-wisdom/

end of our 45th season

Yesterday, I sang with the Madrigal Choir of Binghamton as we closed out our 45th anniversary season, which had concentrated on American themes.

This final concert was called “America Speaks” and focused on American poets. In an interesting twist, the poems were read by members of S.T.A.R. (Southern Tier Actors Read) before we sang the settings based on the poems. As a poet, I’m accustomed to hearing poets read, but actors enunciate and emote much more than most poets. I especially love that this concert took place during National Poetry Month.

(As it happens, I will have the opportunity to hear “Some Time Else,” one of the poems from my chapbook Hearts, read by an actor affiliated with the Glimmer Globe Theatre at the Fenimore Art Museum in Cooperstown on Saturday as part of Write Out Loud 2024. Stay tuned for more information.)

The highlight of the concert for me was performing Frostiana, Randall Thompson’s setting of seven poems by Robert Frost, written to celebrate the bicentennial of Amherst, Massachusetts. We were accompanied by members of the Binghamton Community Orchestra, so we could appreciate Thompson’s skill as an orchestrator as well as a composer. I especially liked the flute’s imitation of thrush calls in “Come In.”

What was most special, though, was that our artistic director, Dr. Bruce Borton, was able to conduct Frostiana for the performance. He has been battling a serious illness and this was his only appearance at our concerts this season. I began singing under his direction in 1988, when he was at the local university as a professor and began conducting the Binghamton University Chorus, which I had joined in 1982. I first sang “Choose Something Like a Star,” the final piece in Frostiana, under his direction relatively early in his tenure, so it was especially poignant to sing it yesterday.

I managed not to cry.

I hope to sing for Much Ado in the Garden this summer and for our 46th season. I’ll post details as they become available.