Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Page 25

SoCS: If x, then y

If x, then y.

I’ve been telling myself some version of that for years. It usually involves getting through some major project/issue/development – the “if” – so that “then” things will calm down and be organized and predictable and under control.

It almost never works out that way.

I am finally wising up and getting to the point where I don’t promise anyone, even myself, some future goal.

Too much can happen that was unforeseen or that results in a totally different chain of events than anticipated.

The only constant is change and all that…

A lot of things that I might have seen as if/then are morphing into hopes, rather than promises or commitments.

It’s a way to retain some level of sanity/calm/integrity.

People who read my blog know that the past few months have been difficult for me, beginning with the unexpected death of my mother-in-law in March. I had to pull back from a lot of my usual activities, including blogging practice, and I thought I had an idea of when and how I would work my way back to what I had been used to.

Then, a string of other things unfolded and I have had to acknowledge that I really don’t have a clue when I will resume or even if it is possible.

I will just do the best that I can.

My if/thens will be confined to simple straightforward statements, such as “If I schedule this post now, then it will appear on Saturday.”
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Linda’s prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday this week is if/then. Come join the fun! Find out how here: https://lindaghill.com/2016/07/15/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-july-1616/

SoCS: lack of concentration

Since my mother-in-law died unexpectedly this spring, I have been having a real problem with lack of concentration.

I’m sure it hasn’t been helped by a string of other events that have been demanding time and attention…

I find myself starting something, having something else pop into my head that I need to attend to, hopping over to that – and maybe something else – or two somethings else – before getting back to what I was doing in the first place.

I’m sure it isn’t very efficient…

I realize part of it is the result of my seeming inability to sleep consistently. And the fact that there is just a lot to do on a lot of different fronts.

I think part of it, though, is that it is genuinely harder to concentrate for extended periods of time.

My brain gets tired.

I find myself playing mindless games on the computer while the television is on in the evening. Often, the television isn’t demanding too much concentration in and of itself. I used to use part of evening TV time to visit and comment on other blogs, but I can’t seem to do it anymore.

It takes too much concentration.

Have I mentioned that I’m having a problem with concentration lately?
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Linda’s prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday this week is “concentration.” Please join us! Find out how here: https://lindaghill.com/2016/07/08/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-july-916/

SoCS: what I long for

Things I long for – or long for more abundantly:

peace
sleep
more hours to write
more hours when my brain is operating clearly enough to write
love
good health for my family, friends, and everyone else, too
co-operation for the common good
caring about important things
for public sanity and good will in the face of so many challenges
unity
an end to hunger, oppression, and deprivation

*****
This short and impossible list is brought to be Linda’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday. This week’s prompt is “long.” Come join us! Find out how here: https://lindaghill.com/2016/07/01/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-july-216/

SoCS: drinking problem

I have a drinking problem.

But probably not the kind you are thinking of…

Because I have a condition called interstitial cystitis, also known as painful bladder syndrome, I can’t drink a lot of things that most people do.

Some, like coffee, are not a hardship for me to not drink because I don’t really like them. Same with black tea.

I do wish I could drink green tea, though. I can drink some herbal teas.

Soda and other carbonated things are no-nos!

Fruit juices are problematic as they are too acidic. I need to dilute them or take pills to counteract the acidity.

I do drink milk sometimes, but have had to give up one of my favorite drinks, hot cocoa, as chocolate is another irritant.

What I drink most of the time is water.

Which is safe, but a bit boring.

Oh, well.

Wells do bring us water…

(And, for the record, I don’t drink alcohol.)
*****
Linda’s prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday this week is “drink.” Come join us! Find out how here: https://lindaghill.com/2016/06/24/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-june-2516/

SoCS: project delay

One of my projects for this year is assembling a book of poetry, growing out of my first ever poetry residency last fall.

And I am not getting much done these last few months…

There have been a lot of losses with a lot of aftermath.

I’ll get back to my collection at some point…

Wish me luck.
*****
Linda’s prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday this week is “book.” Come join us! Find out how here: https://lindaghill.com/2016/06/03/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-june-416/

SoCS: heartbreaking news

I am writing this on Friday as we await news on a former pastor, Father James.

He is in a coma in ICU and expected to die soon.

The news is heartbreaking.

I am not heartbroken for him, as he will be released from suffering and dwelling in God who is Eternal Love.

I am heartbroken for his family and friends and all his former parishioners who will miss his care, concern, sense of humor, and gentleness. Although he was retired, he said Mass at local parishes. Just in the last few weeks, I attended a couple of Masses at which he presided.

He was the pastor of a church I attended for over twenty years. He was the pastor for both of my daughters’ baptisms and first communions, as well as my elder daughter’s confirmation. I served on liturgy committee for him for many years, as well as participating in music ministry with my daughters.

After he retired, our parish, which I had known as a welcoming home, ran into major difficulties and eventually disintegrated. That is still heartbreaking.

It is also heartbreaking that the church building that we had renovated under his leadership is no longer a Catholic church. After being damaged in a second major flood, it was closed and, years later, sold to a nearby Christian college. They have recently re-opened it as their chapel, but it is no longer the place we built together. Even the stained glass windows had been removed.

We will lay him to rest from his boyhood church, though, which is fitting. That church is also the mother church in our area, meaning it is the oldest congregation.

One of his favorite Bible verses was from Micah 6:8: “And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.”

And he showed us how to do that.

Another passage is also coming to mind for me, from Matthew 25:21: “Well done, good and faithful servant!”

I am also thinking of a setting of the final commendation, which is a prayer at the end of Catholic funerals, that we used to sing in Resurrection Choir when Father James would be presiding at parish funerals. The setting was done by Ernest Sands and used this refrain: “May the choirs of angels come to greet you. May they speed you to paradise. May the Lord enfold you in His mercy. May you find eternal life.”

Amen.
*****
Linda’s prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday this week is “break/brake.” Join us! Find out how here: https://lindaghill.com/2016/05/20/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-may-2116/ .

SoCS: commencement

An open prompt! Thanks, Linda! I don’t know that I could have dealt with anything too exotic…

I am writing this on Friday afternoon and scheduling it because tomorrow is spoken for.

We will be spending the day in Syracuse, attending the festivities for our daughter T’s commencement from SUNY-ESF, which is short for State University of New York – Environmental Science and Forestry. She will be receiving an MPS degree in Conservation Biology. (MPS stands for Master’s of Professional Studies.) Her program was multidisciplinary and geared toward doing conservation/restoration work in the field, rather than doing lab research.

She also concentrated her work with plants. She loves to root out invasive species and help and/or re-establish native ones. She can wax poetic about it! She has had the opportunity to do three internships and we are hoping that an appropriate permanent position will appear.

Tomorrow, there will be a reception with her department in the morning. Commencement is in the afternoon, followed by a reception, followed by dinner back in her neighborhood.

We are so happy for her and as proud as can be!
*****
Linda gifted us with an open prompt this week: start the post with a two-letter word. We could also end with a two-letter word for extra fun. Come join us! Find out how here: https://lindaghill.com/2016/05/13/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-may-1416/

SoCS: Mother’s Day

So, I have been absent from SoCS for weeks – and the reason has to do with a parent.

Specifically, my spouse’s mom, whom I refer to on my blog as Grandma.

Grandma passed away unexpectedly on March 22nd and tomorrow will be our first Mother’s Day without her.

I am very, very grateful to still have both of my parents here; we will be having Mother’s Day brunch with them tomorrow.

My husband, known on my blog as B, has no parents left at all now. We lost his dad almost eleven years ago.

Since Grandma’s death, I have posted very little. (There are some posts about her death and things that have happened since, but nowhere near the number of posts I usually make.) I have done almost no reading of others’ blogs and almost no commenting. I wish I could say that this return to SoCS marked a sea change – that I would be back to my usual posts in Linda’s SoCS and One-liner Wednesday, my usual level of posting at Top of JC’S Mind, visiting dozens of blogs a day, and writing comments.

I wish that, but I know it is not reality.

There is still a ton of tasks that need my attention.

And, in happier news, our younger daughter T is about to graduate with a master’s degree. We expect her to be moving back home to job search, so I need time for her, too.

I hope that all my blog-community friends are hanging in there and having a good time. I also hope that those of you who are blessed to have a parent still living will make an extra effort to contact them and to show that you care.

Because, someday, you may not still have that opportunity.
*****
Linda’s prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday this week is “apparent/a parent”. Come join us! Find out how here: https://lindaghill.com/2016/05/06/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-may-716/

SoCS: watching eggs

On the news this week, there have been several features about eggs.

Specifically, a pair of bald eagle eggs in a nest in the National Arboretum in Washington, DC.

One of them has hatched and the eaglet has enjoyed its first meal. The second is expected to hatch over the weekend.

There is a camera for people to watch a live feed of the nest: http://www.eagles.org/dceaglecam/

The bald eagle is the national bird of the United States. It was almost killed by DDT, which bioaccumulated in the adult birds and caused its eggs to be so fragile that they could not withstand the weight of the parent when they were being incubated in the nest.

Since the banning of DDT, the population has slowly recovered. Locally, from our area in the Northeast US, we do sometimes spot bald eagles, which would have been incredibly rare twenty or thirty years ago.

Will the second egg hatch? Will both eaglets survive? We can keep a lookout via the camera and find out.
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Linda’s prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “egg.” Join us! Find out how here: http://lindaghill.com/2016/03/18/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-march-1916/

SoCS: yet again with the deflated footballs

Hold onto your hats, but there has been more in the news on the topic of Tom Brady, the New England Patriots, and deflated footballs.

Despite not being a big follower of American football – or even what the rest of the world calls football and the US calls soccer – I have written about this topic a number of times. (here and here and here and here and here)

The story was back in the news this week because a seventh grader who lives near Boston won a prize at a science fair by showing with science that the footballs would have dropped about 2 psi due to the field conditions of the game.

Weirdly, he shares a last name with the football commissioner who wanted to sanction Brady, even though there is no proof that he or anyone actually deflated the footballs.

And, yes, this does have to do with things like the ideal gas law that I and others posted about months ago.

Will the National Football League finally acknowledge science and admit they were wrong in their report?

Probably not…
*****
Linda’s prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday this week is “ball.” Join the fun! Find out how here: http://lindaghill.com/2016/03/11/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-march-1216/

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