Category: musings

making an attempt

2016 was extraordinarily busy, stressful, and unpredictable. My blog persisted, although with not as many posts as I intended. My blogging practice of reading and commenting fell off a cliff.

I am not a new year’s resolution person. Life has taught and continues to teach me that life is unpredictable and I don’t want to make promises I won’t be able to keep.

Last year, I did manage to post every day for Just Jot It January – January was before the first life-changing event of 2016 struck – so I thought I would at least start in again. Three days so far! But no promises for the whole month, which seems like a long time in the midst of winter.

I am also trying to reclaim a bit of my practice of reading and commenting on other blogs, albeit with no illusions of getting back to visiting dozens of blogs on a daily basis.

I am so thankful for my readers who have visited and commented when I haven’t been able to reciprocate. Your support has kept me blogging, however imperfectly.

I also want to thank Linda, whose One-Liner Wednesday and Stream of Consciousness Saturdays got me posting on some weeks when I didn’t have much time or mental energy to spare. Linda and her blog community rock!

Latest example: Just Jot It January!
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Join us for Linda’s Just Jot It January! Find out how here:  https://lindaghill.com/2017/01/03/jusjojan-daily-prompt-jan-3rd17/

jjj-2017

 

SoCS: Christmas

This was our first Christmas season without Grandma (my mother-in-law) who passed away in March.

It was also a quiet Christmas for a number of reasons which I won’t enumerate here.

It was sometimes difficult to navigate the season, trying to balance happy memories of how much Grandma loved Christmas, especially decorating, with how painful it was that she wasn’t able to be here with us.

I think each of us had at least one crying jag in the process.

Some things just felt right, though, such as putting the carol singers that she made for us on the cupboard filled with her teacup collection that now sits in our dining room, instead of on the mantel in the living room.

And making her pecan puff recipe.

I am also thankful that last year, our daughter E and her husband L were here celebrating Christmas with us. It was a precious time.

None us knew that that Christmas would be Grandma’s last.
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Linda’s prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday this week is “first/last.” Join us! Find out how here: https://lindaghill.com/2016/12/30/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-dec-3116/

 

Fantastic Beasts

One of the characters in Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them says that he knows he is not dreaming because he doesn’t have that good an imagination.

We are all fortunate that Joanne Rowling does have that good an imagination, which she shares with millions of people around the world.

We finally got to see this film, which is based in the travels of British wizard Newt Scamander, this morning and enjoyed it very much.

The visual effects are stunning, especially of the various “fantastic beasts.” Eddie Redmayne embodies Newt and I look forward to seeing him in the follow-on films.

Like most of Rowling’s work, the film deals with universal themes, among them, environmental and endangered species protection, the use and misuse of law and government, social inclusion/exclusion, abuse of power, abuse and neglect of children, and the greater power of love and friendship.

It’s not just a tale of magic.

Re-oragnizing

Some of my faithful readers may have noticed that I have been scarce around here the last few weeks, even given that I have had to cut back significantly on blogging this year due to family commitments. While I have been spending time on family obligations, even more of the time in the last few weeks has been dedicated to re-organizing our house (for reasons that will be elucidated at a later date).

I am the first to admit that I don’t like housecleaning, but this re-organization went way beyond that. There was a lot of going through things, both our own things and things that we had brought to our home after Grandma died this spring. Some things got donated, some got packed and stored in the attic or basement, and some found their way to new places in our home.

Bonus:  We freed up the garage so the minivan can stay out of the snow.

The most difficult thing for me, though, was sorting through papers.

Some things were painful or poignant by their very nature. Obituaries. A note from a friend who has since passed away. The fiftieth jubilee mass for a long-time pastor who died this year. Copies of my junior organ recital at Smith, a reminder that I haven’t been able to play the organ for years now, due to orthopedic problems.

Other things caused a more wistful reaction. My daughters’ artwork, starting in preschool and going up through middle school. Some of their report cards and concert programs. Programs and liturgies from our years at Blessed Sacrament, before everything fell apart.

There were some things that had been gathering dust, perched on a high display shelf in our bedroom, that I packed away. My summa cum laude diploma. My Phi Beta Kappa certificate. A certificate naming me a Presser Scholar. All things that I earned thirty-five years ago, when I was quite a good student.

This sounds like I am bragging, but remember these were in our bedroom, not out on the mantel in the living room.

Some may also infer that I am very competitive person, but I am the opposite. My parents raised us to do our own best, without regard to what others were doing. I was fortunate that my best translated into good grades, but my motivation was not gaining honors but learning as much as I could.

Having these mementos was a good reminder for me over the years when I was feeling overwhelmed that I did have a brain in my head that could go to work and research and weigh options and arrive at a useful course of action.

Now, they are in a box in the attic.

I hope that, after thirty-five years of learning, living, and growing, I no longer need a visual reminder.

 

Singing the “O Antiphons”

Last Sunday, I posted about how moved I was with the communion song at church.  This week, I am sharing again. I managed, barely, not to cry this week, though.

We sang all the verses of Dan Schutte’s “Christ, Circle Round Us”. Sadly, the recording below does not have all the verses.

Schutte based the tune on the chant melody for Salve Regina, giving it a sound that is both traditional and contemporary. The text is based on the “O Antiphons” which are traditionally sung in the last days of Advent. They use the language of the Hebrew Scriptures to evoke the coming of the Messiah. They also incorporate more universal themes of winter solstice, longing for light and new growth.

What strikes me especially this year is the emphasis on hope. Hope is not one of my stronger virtues, but it is one that I need to find in large measure now, with so many challenges facing us.

Sometimes, the right song helps.

SoCS: Christmas wishes

I am tired of people asking, “What do you want for Christmas?”

Whether or not this is an appropriate question is a moot point. However, I draw the line at the recent ad campaign in New York State.

The ad instructs us to tell our legislature that all we want for Christmas is Uber.

New York State doesn’t allow Uber to operate here. I can understand why some people would care about this and want it to change so that Uber would be allowed.

But let’s leave Christmas out of it.

It’s bad enough that so much of the focus of Christmas has become shopping and gift-giving and receiving – material gifts, that is.

What I most want for Christmas has nothing to do with Uber, or clothes or kitchenware or other things.

I want peace. I want safety for travellers. I want a return to good health. I want people to help one another.

Uber? Not so much…
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Linda’s prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday this week is “moot.”  Join us! Find out how here: https://lindaghill.com/2016/12/16/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-dec-1716/

 

SoCS: Ggggrrrrrrr

I don’t know if I can bear to make another phone call.

Well, not any phone call, but one to the NYS Health call center.

I have been trying to get an insurance situation resolved for the coming year and have had several loooooong phone calls with them – plus some online chat sessions.

And we still don’t have the situation resolved.

Unfortunately, I’ll have to wait for Monday because I think I need to talk to the IRS.

Doesn’t that sound like fun?

Everything has to be resolved by December 15, so let’s hope they all have their act in gear next week when I plunge back into the fracas.

I knew there was a reason I have been a long-time advocate for single-payer…
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Linda’s prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday this week is bear/bare. Join us! Find out how here:  https://lindaghill.com/2016/12/09/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-dec-1016/

 

thanks

Today is Thanksgiving Day in the United States. Despite the difficult year, I have much for which to be thankful.

One of them is you! I am thankful for my readers, whether you visit once or on a regular basis.

As regular visitors know, 2016 has been a difficult, complicated year for me and I have not been able to read and comment on other blogs on a regular basis, as good bloggers do.

Despite that, I have now surpassed 800 followers. Thanks! I so appreciate your support.

The follower number is not the whole story. I am also surprised at the number of in-person or Facebook friends who tell me that they read my blog, even though they never comment, follow, or like, which tend to be things that other bloggers are inclined to do. I so appreciate your support, especially during this busy time when personal correspondence is among the many things being set aside in deference to tasks that must be done in person. (A reminder to Facebook users, you can find my FB page here.)

I wish everyone a wonderful day, whether it is a holiday for you or not.

All days are better with gratitude and thanksgiving.

One-Liner Wednesday: three little words

Love trumps hate.

Join us for Linda’s One-Liner Wednesdays! Find out how here:  https://lindaghill.com/2016/11/16/one-liner-wednesday-words-and-grace/.

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the solace of music

2016 has been stressful, hectic, and, at times, overwhelming. If anything, the last few weeks have seem an acceleration of these trends.

One of the things that has kept me from total meltdown has been music.

My personal background is strongest in church music and it continues to bring solace.  One recent example is watching daughter T cantor for Mass on All Saints’ Day. Her singing truly touched my heart.

One of the things for which I am most grateful is that University Chorus, with whom I am in my 35th year as a singer, is preparing Brahms’ Requiem this semester. Of all the masterworks I have sung over the decades, this is my favorite to sing. Brahms’ selection of texts is thoughtful and the music is crafted exquisitely to its meaning.

Our director notes that Brahms chose to set texts that bring comfort to the living. I need comfort now, not only as we continue to navigate the loss of Grandma but also as we deal with family health issues and the upheaval, dissension, and trauma caused by the recent campaign and election.

I have prepared and performed the Requiem several times in years past. I have sung it before when I was mourning a loss, but this time my emotions are so raw that I wonder if I will get through the December third performance without tearing up. A few weeks ago, when I was having a particularly difficult day, we were rehearsing the central movement of the work, which, translated into English, is called “How Lovely is Thy Dwelling Place.” I started crying and couldn’t stop myself. I managed to keep singing; at least, I know that if it happens in the performance, I will be able to keep going.

If I am still living here when I die, I would like members of University Chorus to come sing that movement at my funeral, in German, of course. I apologize if that sounds morbid, but it is a thing that church musicians tend to do – plan their funeral music…

I do wish that each of you find solace somewhere, whether in music or nature or silence or fellowship or some other means.

We all need it.