JC’s Confessions #3

On The Late Show, Stephen Colbert does a recurring skit, now a best-selling book, called Midnight Confessions, in which he “confesses” to his audience with the disclaimer that he isn’t sure these things are really sins but that he does “feel bad about them.” While Stephen and his writers are famously funny, I am not, so my JC’s Confessions will be somewhat more serious reflections, but they will be things that I feel bad about. Stephen’s audience always forgives him at the end of the segment; I’m not expecting that – and these aren’t really sins – but comments are always welcome.
~ JC

When Stephen does Midnight Confessions, in his lead-up he often says that he doesn’t get to go to church as often as he would like and he misses one of his favorite things, going to confession. At which point, I usually think, “Said no Catholic ever!” Everyone with whom I have ever spoken about it feels that it is a stressful situation, even with a good confessor (and downright terrifying with a poor one).

For the last several years, our diocese has had a day during which every church is open for the Sacrament of Reconciliation, as confession is more properly called. I confess that I find it very creepy that they advertise this on television and with billboards, as though mercy and forgiveness are commodities.

It also makes it seem as though forgiveness is only available through this sacrament, even though the church recognizes many other routes for this, such as the penitential rite during liturgy, asking for forgiveness from someone whom you have hurt, prayer, making reparations, and receiving the Eucharist. Indeed, individual confession is only required in the case of serious sin, one which fractures the relationship of the person with God.

I admit, not confess, that I haven’t gone to individual confession in years. This is partly due to a priest from my past who was so unstable I was afraid to be alone with him. Even though he is no longer a threat to me, it makes the thought of going to confession even more fraught.

What is even more difficult is figuring out how to confess my own part in social sin. I grieve that the United States is participating in violence and injustice, degrading the environment and the climate, and lacking in compassion and assistance for those most in need. We are called in our Constitution to “promote the general welfare”; my faith tells me to love and serve my neighbors near and far. Even though I try to oppose what is unjust and to help those in need, I still bear guilt for being part of an unjust system. Seeking forgiveness for these social sins feels hollow, because I am no less a part of the social system after confession than I was before it.

Wow! When I said in my standard introduction to this series that my reflections would be “more serious,” I didn’t mean to make it quite this serious.  Still, we are living in very serious times with many very serious problems confronting us daily. I can only hope that my trying to do my part in repairing the damage will join with the efforts of other people of good will to improve our country and our world.

One-Liner Wednesday: spring

“Spring has returned. The earth is like a child that knows poems.”
~~~ Rainer Maria Rilke
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Please join us for Linda’s One-Liner Wednesday! Find out how here:  https://lindaghill.com/2019/04/10/one-liner-wednesday-waiting/

SoCS: more things on my walls

A while back, Linda’s prompt had to do with things that we had hanging on our walls – or art we owned or something like that…

At any rate, I didn’t share some things I have hung that are made of fabric.

In the living room, I have an art quilt of trees that I really love:
tree-quilt.jpg

In the dining room, we have framed some piecework that my husband’s great-grandmother had done. She was planning to make them into a coverlet, but never got around to it. His mom had the top piece in her cedar chest, and we cut it into pieces that worked with frames. The cloth she used was very interesting. It came from sample books from Arnold Print Works, where B’s grandfather worked. I love to look at the different fabric prints of the time. It is a bit strange to see some swastikas, though. The fabric is so old that it was well before the time of Hitler when the symbol was called a Teutonic cross, among other names.
dining-room-quilt.jpg
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Linda’s prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday this week is “fab”. Join us! Find out how here: https://lindaghill.com/2019/04/05/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-april-6-19/ 

One-Liner Wednesday: a sad anniversary

Remembering those killed or wounded in the shooting at the American Civic Association in Binghamton, New York ten years ago today.
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Please join us for Linda’s One-Liner Wednesday! Find out how here:  https://lindaghill.com/2019/04/03/one-liner-wednesday-will-ferguson-you-should-read-his-books/

JC’s Confessions #2

On The Late Show, Stephen Colbert does a recurring skit, now a best-selling book, called Midnight Confessions, in which he “confesses” to his audience with the disclaimer that he isn’t sure these things are really sins but that he does “feel bad about them.” While Stephen and his writers are famously funny, I am not, so my JC’s Confessions will be somewhat more serious reflections, but they will be things that I feel bad about. Stephen’s audience always forgives him at the end of the segment; I’m not expecting that – and these aren’t really sins – but comments are always welcome.
~ JC

I spends bunches of time playing mindless computer games, most often when I am watching television. Theoretically speaking, I could be doing more constructive things, like catching up on correspondence or writing posts or poems.

Theoretically.

The truth is that I use games as a distraction or a calming mechanism when my mind isn’t capable of creative or deep thought.

As I have often said, it’s not that I don’t have time for writing, editing, submitting, etc., it’s that I don’t have brain.

SoCS: dough

Today, E and I took ABC to her first theater experience, a performance of Sesame Street Live. The theme was magic, but a lot of the story revolved around things that turned out to be science. One of those things was making cookie dough out of flour, butter, eggs, and sugar and adding heat to make it into cookies.

My other dough experience of the week was making pie dough for a birthday pie for Paco who turned 94 on Tuesday. I wanted to make him a prune-apricot pie. Unfortunately, it had been a loooong time since I had baked a pie from dried fruit. And I was super tired because I had been up at night with ABC and then had trouble getting back to sleep. I realized too late that I had forgotten the salt in the crust. D’oh! I also didn’t put as much water in the fruit when I stewed it as I should have, so the apricots didn’t soften as much as I would have liked and I didn’t have very much juice to thicken. Still, it all worked out okay as Paco enjoyed it very much.

I thought that doing an unsweetened pie might also appeal to Nana, who hasn’t had much appetite lately, but it didn’t sound good to her. She is still eating breakfast, but usually not much for lunch and supper and she doesn’t like things that are too sweet. One of the hospice rules is that she can eat whatever she wants and we are following that. We have gotten some coffee ice cream to keep on hand because it was always one of her favorites, the bitterness of the coffee cutting the sugar. We’ll see if she wants to try some someday soon.
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Linda’s prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday this week is “dough/d’oh”. Join us! Find out how here:  https://lindaghill.com/2019/03/29/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-march-30-19/

One-Liner Wednesday: change

The key to the passage of time is change.
– Abyssbrain of mathemagicalsite.wordpress.com

(This has been sitting in my drafts folder for a loooooong time. The site has since been deleted.)

Come join us for Linda’s One-Liner Wednesday!  Find out how here:  https://lindaghill.com/2019/03/27/one-liner-wednesday-spring-is-sprung/

SoCS: floods

Our news here in the US is filled with coverage of the historic floods in the Plains and Midwest. Floodwaters have breached levees and overflowed banks, causing flooding for several miles on either side of multiple rivers. Many roads and bridges have been washed out. Much of the affected land is farmland and many farmers have lost livestock and crops, as well as equipment and buildings.

I live near the Susquehanna River near the NY/PA border. We are lucky this year that we haven’t had much snow, so we will probably be spared the spring snowmelt plus storm flooding. However, we are not immune to floods, having suffered two record floods in recent years. With the changes in weather patterns brought about by our changing climate, we will certainly have another record flood or very severe flood in the future. We just don’t know when.

For many years, we have carried flood insurance on our home. We are not immediately near the Susquehanna, but live near a creek that feeds into it. There is a floodwall behind our house because when the Susquehanna floods, the water back up into the creek. In the 2011 flood, the water came within inches of overtopping the flood wall.

We are lucky that we have never had to collect on our flood insurance. If the worst happens, we may have to either sell out our property or raise our home above flood level.

I’m hoping it won’t come to that, but only time – and storms – will tell.
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Linda’s prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday this week is to write about the subject of the last piece of (physical) mail we received. In my case, it was our flood insurance bill. To find out how to join in the fun, visit Linda’s site here:  https://lindaghill.com/2019/03/22/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-march-23-19/ 

One-Liner Wednesday: stories happen

“I hope you will go out and let stories happen to you, and that you will work them, water them with your blood and tears and your laughter till they bloom, till you yourself burst into bloom.”
– Clarissa Pinkola Estés
(Trying to remind myself of this today.)
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Join us for Linda’s One-Liner Wednesday! Find out how here: https://lindaghill.com/2019/03/20/one-liner-wednesday-i-take-it-back/

SoCS: scarred souls

I feel as if all our souls have been touched by the shootings at Christchurch, New Zealand. So many dead and wounded. And so many victims had fled violence in the countries where they were born, seeking refuge in what should have been a safe place for them – and even more of a sanctuary as they were in a house of worship.

The alleged shooter claims to be a white supremacist. He claims to be inspired by some in the United States, which makes it even more appalling because I hate the thought that my country is exporting terrorism, racism, Islamophobia, and white supremacist ideologies.

I don’t know how our souls will heal from this attack. Maybe they won’t. Maybe we will all bear a little scar from this horror and maybe that will strengthen us to do everything we can to combat hate.
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Linda’s prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday this week is “soul/sole”. Find out how to join in here:  https://lindaghill.com/2019/03/15/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-march-16-19/