In the first few seasons of The Late Show, Stephen Colbert did a recurring skit, then a best-selling book, called Midnight Confessions, in which he “confesses” to his audience with the disclaimer that he isn’t sure these things are really sins but that he does “feel bad about them.” While Stephen and his writers are famously funny, I am not, so my JC’s Confessions will be somewhat more serious reflections, but they will be things that I feel bad about. Stephen’s audience always forgives him at the end of the segment; I’m not expecting that – and these aren’t really sins – but comments are always welcome.
On April 6, 2025, Pope Francis appeared in public for the first time after returning home from his long hospitalization. It was at the end of a special Jubilee liturgy for the sick and health care workers and others who care for them. He had written the homily and a special blessing for the mass, although they were read by others. Francis wrote:
In this moment of my life I share a lot: the experience of infirmity, feeling weak, depending on the others for many things, needing support. It is not easy, but it is a school in which we learn every day to love and to let ourselves be loved, without demanding and without rejecting, without regretting, without despairing, grateful to God and to our brothers for the good that we receieve, trusting for what is still to come.
I am currently entering the second year of dealing with a complex medical situation that has not yet been fully diagnosed. I don’t know if I will be able to be adequately treated or if I will continue to see progression in my symptoms.
It’s hard.
I confess that I am not always gracious in this situation. I manage to let others do things for me and to ask for accommodations if I need them, but I find it difficult to set aside regret and to trust in the future.
This is especially hard for me in regard to my future as a poet. I don’t know if I will regain the creativity I’ve lost to brain fog and fatigue. I’m even losing the concentration and attention to detail needed to do submissions for my already existing poems and manuscripts.
I’m trying not to get to the point of despair.
These next few weeks are important in that I have a new batch of tests and specialist visits coming up.
Maybe having some more information about what is happening will help me to be better with being sick.
Maybe not.
I’ll try.
(I realized when I went back in my blog to find the number confession this was that this confession is, in a way, a continuation of #30.)
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Joanne Corey 
It’s hard to be calm when so much is at risk. Of course you’re worried and frustrated. Also, the Pope had time to process and create something that will comfort others (plus, you know, part of his job). You are still in the midst of things, with many unanswered questions. You are amazing, and always an inspiration.
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❤ Thank you for your kind words, Devon. I admit that, after so many years of being a caregiver and advocate, it feels strange to be the one in need of so much help.And, yes, the uncertainty complicates matters considerably.
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It IS hard. After so many years of being a caregiver and advocate, of course it feels strange to be the one in need of so much help. But what goes around comes around – you’ve paid your dues and deserve help as much as anyone. I hope and pray you get useful information that leads to noticeable improvements in your health.
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